bookmark_borderPatients Unable to Pay Hospital Bill Can Stay and Do Scut Work Instead

Patients Unable to Pay Hospital Bill Can Stay and Do Scut Work Instead

WILMINGTON, DE—With no end in sight to the national healthcare debate, one community hospital in Wilmington, DE is experimenting with a new way for patients to pay off their debts. Patients at Wilmington General Hospital who are ready to be discharged home now have the option of staying longer and performing scut work in lieu of paying their hospital bill.

“Look,” said hospital CEO Marvin Gore, “we know that it can be hard for our patients to afford medical care. We also know that there’s a ton of tedious tasks that must be completed everyday for a hospital to run smoothly. And as a tiny community hospital, we don’t have lowly medical students and residents to foist these menial tasks upon. So we let our financially-strapped patients do them—it’s a win-win situation. They don’t have to pay us, and we don’t have to pay them!”

Early results seem to be very promising. Current scut workers include Gertrude Steinman, a frail 92-year-old woman with dementia admitted for pneumonia who indicated she lacked the funds or insurance to pay for her stay. So upon discharge one week ago, she opted to stay and do scut work. Her first task was to deliver STAT bloodwork from a coding patient to the lab. Seven days and seventy stops for directions later, she is nearly halfway to the lab.

With this new plan, there is no shortage of scut workers. Trish Berman, a 71-year-old woman admitted with giant cell arteritis complicated by sudden blindness, is now busy attempting blood draws and IV insertions. Mark Pham, a 36-year-old man hospitalized for severe cellulitis of his right arm, now has that same arm deep inside an elderly man’s rectum struggling to disimpact a lodged piece of hard stool that just won’t budge.

Then there’s Raymond Cleary, a 74-year-old man status post MI, who was seen transporting an obese patient up a ramp towards the Radiology unit. After helping lift the heavyset patient onto the CT scan table, Mr. Cleary promptly collapsed. But not to worry, Ms. Steinman is on her way to go get him and deliver him to the ER…just as soon as she drops off those test tubes.

While Mr. Gore acknowledges that patients recovering from acute illnesses may not be the ideal candidates to perform these tasks, he admits it doesn’t really bother him. “As long as it gets done and it’s not me doing it, I frankly don’t care who does,” Gore said.

“If all goes well,” the notoriously thrifty CEO added, “in a few years, these patients will be running the entire hospital themselves.”


bookmark_borderIs your business menopause friendly?

There has been a lot of media coverage lately about menopause in the workplace, and the consensus has been pretty unequivocal: far too many of the UK’s businesses are failing to provide enough support for their older female employees.

What that translates into is a working environment for women that has systemically failed to recognise that menopause is not a condition that can be dodged – it will affect every woman at some stage of her life.

For a lucky minority, the ‘change’ slides by without much more fanfare than perhaps an occasional hot flush. For the majority, though, the menopause – a biological process that can be glacially slow to pass (around 5 years, on average) – is a miserable cocktail of multiple debilitating symptoms.

The online health resource WebMD estimates there are as many as 34 recognised symptoms of the menopause.

Among the unenviable things with which the majority of women can expect to become acquainted, apart from relentless hot flushes, are insomnia as well as fatigue, loss of sex drive, fierce mood swings, anxiety, depression, lapses in memory, headaches, irregular periods, racing heart, loss of bladder control, aches and pains, and vaginal dryness.

Although there can be few people over the age of 20 who aren’t aware of its existence, it seems that the menopause is an unrecognised concept in many offices. Or, at best, there is little recognition that the menopause has the potential to impact on an employee’s productivity which, in turn, impacts on their employer’s profitability.

There are many possible reasons for this bewildering lack of acknowledgement. One is that many women simply choose to endure the symptoms alone.

Not all women want to take hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to combat their menopausal symptoms.

Media reports of concerns that conventional HRT is linked to cancer or heart disease have done a good job of making a lot of women think twice about taking the synthetic – or lab-grown – hormone therapy.

And for most of those women, that’s where they believe their options end. Except, conventional HRT isn’t the first and last option beyond putting up with it – and this is where businesses could be doing so much more to help educate and support their female colleagues.

Bioidentical – or body identical – HRT is a low risk alternative to conventional menopause treatment. It uses compounds that exactly replicate the hormones produced naturally by the body, making it the closest thing to a woman’s natural physiology it’s possible to get.

In a spectacular dereliction of their duty to make women aware of all their treatment options (even if they choose not to recommend it), the NHS and successive governments have simply abandoned those women who believe they have legitimate concerns about the standard treatment routinely offered by their GP.

In some more enlightened GP practices, doctors do choose to lay out all the choices available to their menopausal patients, but those clinics are few and far between, though growing in number.

BHRT effectively relieves women of all their symptoms, leaving them much better placed to live life as they did before. That means happier, healthier employees.

So, if business is failing its female employees by being either being unwilling to recognise the menopause as an issue in its workplaces or too ill-informed to understand the issue exists, what can it do to be the bridge between the misery of the menopause with its stark ‘HRT or bust’ reality, and the promised land of health and happiness?

The first step, of course, lies in breaking down the taboo and fear that stops women talking to their colleagues and managers about the menopause and the adverse effect it’s having.

If businesses can conquer that, then ensuring their female employees have access to information about all the options available to them is a good next step.

Beyond that, making access to BHRT a part of its staff benefits package should be a genuine consideration for any business that’s serious about protecting both its employees and its bottom line.

The menopause has spent too long as the punchline of a joke that has long since ceased to be funny for millions of women in the UK. It’s time business took it seriously.

The post Is your business menopause friendly? appeared first on The Natural Doctor.


bookmark_borderSurgeons shocked to learn anesthesiologists have actual names

Surgeons shocked to learn anesthesiologists have actual names

The plenary session of the annual American College of Surgeons meeting was brought to a standstill last Saturday when the keynote speaker, Dr. Davinci, said that he had determined “to a high degree of likelihood” that Anesthesiologists are not all legally named “Anesthesia”.

Several surgeons in the audience initially burst out laughing, sure that it was a joke. Dr. Cappodorno was overheard gaffawing and then turning to his neighbor, Dr. Poorlow, and saying “Ha! That’s a good one. Can you imagine how confusing that would be?!”

Soon, however, it became clear that Davinci was not joking. He offered, as evidence, a birth certificate of an anesthesiologist he knew. On his powerpoint slide he blew up the section titled “given name” and the audience gasped to see “Robert” listed where they all expected to see “Anesthesia”.

After the conference, this reporter spoke with several surgeons who appeared to still be in shock. Dr. Owens, veteran hepatobiliary surgeon, looked dazed. “All this time I thought they went into anesthesia because they were named Anesthesia. Now I can’t figure out why they chose that specialty.”

Dr. Shuck, prominent vascular surgeon, looking as if he’d seen a ghost, said, “I don’t know when they decided to make this change, but I’m writing to the Joint Commission immediately to ask them to change it back. Patient safety will suffer if I have to dedicate brain power to remembering individual names!”

Dr. Embray, pioneer of robotically controlled robotic surgery, was skeptical, saying, with a chuckle, “I don’t buy it. I think Davinci is trying to pull one over on us. Next thing you know he’ll say the Xray techs aren’t actually named “Fluoro!”


bookmark_borderMembers of Congress may be in permanent cardiac arrest, study find

Members of Congress may be in permanent cardiac arrest, study find

Washington (DC). Research published today revealed that many of our politicians may be essentially dead, or close to dead. The study used data mining to evaluate heart rate profile of Washington senators and representatives while Congress was in session. Data were obtained via Apple Watch and similar devices.

“Many of members did not have a heart beat at all,” said Dr. Geetha Flak, who led the study. The result came to a surprise to the investigators. “We had suspected that many members of Congress are emotionally underdeveloped,” said Dr Flak, “but the fact that they do not have a heartbeat – and presumably many don’t have a heart at all – came as a surprise.”

Furthermore the subjects that did have detectable rhythms often had ventricular tachycardia or fibrillation. The median heart rate was higher in the House of Representatives, maybe because members are younger on average. “It is interesting that we don’t see any reported deaths, especially in the Senate. In our paper we postulate this may indicate a high prevalence of zombies, or maybe fossils, but that remains speculative,” said Dr Flak. “It should however be noted the near absence of sensible legislation making it out of the chambers supports this hypothesis.”

What peaked interest was a clear dichotomy in the heart rate profiles. While data was anonymized, location within the chamber could be extracted from GPS coordinates. Asystole was more prevalent on the right side of the aisle, where as Vtach/VFib predominated on the left. There was also strong correlation with certain legislation. Discussion of abortion or gun control seemed to stimulate the right, many showing an agonal rhythm and some even maintaining frequent escape beats, while at the same time the left almost entirely was in VFib (“LAFB”, Left of Aisle Fibrillation en Bloc). Conversely, health care issues put the entire right chamber into cardiac standstill (Flak dubbed it Right Bench Block).

Next, Flak’s team will tackle a much more ambitious goal, “We are planning a comparative effectiveness study, looking at the US versus other countries’ executive government branches, “ she said. “The study will utilize functional MRI and EEG monitoring. “We are hoping to show non-inferiority of the US, however with the latest developments, I am note sure we have any brain activity in the White House at all.”


bookmark_borderHospital Administrator Invents Time Travel to Eliminate 30 day Readmission Penalty

Hospital Administrator Invents Time Travel to Eliminate 30 day Readmission Penalty

The small town community of Westbrook, NC was in shock last week as its local hospital VP of operations, Mr. Emmett Brown ODB, BMF, MBA, announced a groundbreaking invention that proved the long standing theory of the Einstein-Rosen bridge. Using an out-of service MRI as well as the computing power of the 120-bed hospital’s EMR system, he was able to produce the intense electromagnetic field needed to punch a hole through space/time. This was in an effort so the hospital could avoid the newly enforced 30 day readmissions penalty.

“Time Travel will allow us to meet Medicare’s strict criteria. Moving patients forward in time for treatment prevents them from being readmitted within the 30 day window,” Brown said. These Federal measures were initially implemented to reduce overall cost and improve care.

However, in practice the standards are an arbitrary and unfunded mandate that penalizes hospitals because of innumerable conditions that it cannot possibly control. Until now.

“If a patient is unable to afford his medications, etc., or does not quickly recover say from an exacerbation of heart failure, typically they would require early readmission. My invention harnesses the awesome power of weak/strong inter-nuclear forces to admit this patient to a bed that is equipped and staffed to not only handle the illness, but also at the appropriate place and time along the continuum that does not cost the hospital money.”

Westbrook Regional had evaluated potential countermeasures such as improved home health care, wellness coaches, enhanced communication, and even hospital dispensing of discharge medications. Dr. Martin McFly MD, Lead Hospitalist input, “I even proposed the crazy notion of focused rounding, where the Care Coordinators worked directly with Hospitalists to assess risk and need prior to discharge.” The hospital hopes that with Time Travel, it won’t have to be bogged down by listening to clinical staff and can focus on the truly important issues.

“Time Travel was the answer for us,” replied Brown. “Involving hospital resources to address the dozens of socioeconomic factors that contribute to failure to improve following discharge seems overly complicated and expensive by comparison.” The hospital hopes that the practice of “washing their hands” of these issues once the patient leaves the door will resume because of Time Travel. “The beauty is our staff does not have to wash their actual hands! If they inoculate some patient with c. dif in July, ZAP! that’s September’s problem. We also hope to save significant money by discontinuing soap and hand sanitizer,” added Brown.

When asked whether he hopes that other hospitals around the country begin to follow Westbrook Regional’s example Brown replied, “I hope not, these metrics are moving averages. If every hospital starts using Time Travel to comply with Medicare, eventually all will be out of compliance due to the zero average. That possibility, like hospital acquired infections, is now a problem for an arbitrary later date.”


bookmark_borderLocal Man Regrets Reading Robin Cook’s Coma Right Before Surgery

Local Man Regrets Reading Robin Cook’s Coma Right Before Surgery

**SPOILER ALERT: Reader beware! This post may reveal key plot details of Coma, a novel that has been out for a mere 42 years. We sincerely apologize for the much-too-soon spoilers.

BOSTON, MA—As operating room nurses prepped him for his elective tonsillectomy, 30-year-old Sean Greenly suddenly wished he hadn’t stayed up all night reading Robin Cook’s Coma. The acclaimed medical thriller, in which young adults mysteriously fall into comas after minor surgery, was now the only thing on poor Sean’s mind.

“I’m such a moron!” Sean thought. “Why would I read a terrifying book about surgery right before my own operation? I’m always doing crazy stuff like this: I watched Alive right before flying, Jaws before surfing in the ocean, and Runaway Bride the night before my wedding. Worst of all, I watched The Help over and over again before competing in a pie-eating contest.”

Although he thoroughly enjoyed Coma, Sean was now petrified that he too wouldn’t wake up after surgery. He anxiously bombarded the OR personnel with questions: Are you sure that’s oxygen coming out of the wall? Can you guys please breathe it in first? You don’t mind if I run criminal background checks on you before we start, do you?

The doctors and nurses just laughed off his paranoia, and Sean was resigned to the fact that he had no option but to go through with the procedure. But then he saw the most unsettling thing a person could see just prior to surgery. Peering down at him through glass windows from the surgical observation deck was Robin Cook himself. The author stared intently at the scene below him before hastily scribbling down a few notes on his yellow pad.

“W-Wh-What is he doing here?” Sean stuttered.

“Oh, don’t mind him,” said the surgeon, Dr. Howie Stark Jr., “He’s just here doing research for his next book, Amnesia, in which healthy, young adults undergo minor surgical procedures under general anesthesia and wake up with complete loss of all their memories.”

Startled, Sean sprang straight up and said, “Complete loss of memory?? Why is he researching my surgery?! Abort the procedure!! I’m outta here!”

But before he could escape, the nurses slammed him back down to the table and the anesthesiologist injected something into his IV. He’s not certain, but he could’ve sworn he saw Robin Cook wink at the OR staff right before they took this drastic course of action. Sean quickly drifted off to sleep, but not before he heard Dr. Stark say, “Don’t worry, Sean. Everything will go just fine, and then you’ll wake up and all your worries will be forgotten…”


bookmark_borderWHO adds “Bless their Heart” as an ICD-10 diagnosis code

WHO adds “Bless their Heart” as an ICD-10 diagnosis code

New York, NY- After much deliberation and discussion, the World Health Organization (WHO) has officially added “bless their heart” as an ICD-10 diagnosis code. A WHO spokesperson was reached to comment on the newest ICD-10 code.

“Well, we felt it was inevitable that this would eventually be recognized as a diagnosis. We think that this code will be heavily used in the south east United States. Southerners like to use this phrase often and insomuch that it has a dual meaning! Of course, we appropriately gave a separate diagnosis code to reflect that. For instance, instead of assigning a patient a diagnosis of ‘disorientation, unspecified’; R41.0, we can now use ‘bless their heart’ which is a new diagnosis code. It works great when we did a chart review and the physician used it to describe a patient who was disorientated. The physician put “Diagnosis 2: bless her heart; secondary to delirium…”

When discussing this further with Dr. Al Koholik, a psychiatrist, he stated that “I think this new diagnosis code is ground breaking! Especially in patients of mine that are suffering from grief in the form of loss of a loved one or dealing with adversity. Too often I find myself using F43.20; adjustment disorder, unspecified… I just find that it is not doing my patients justice! By using “bless their heart” as a specific diagnosis code, both my colleagues and I understand the patient’s struggles.

We predict that with a breakthrough such as this; having a disease that has duality and two diagnosis codes, will improve patient care.


bookmark_borderBREAKING: Z Dogg MD Not Related to Snoop Dogg

BREAKING: Z Dogg MD Not Related to Snoop Dogg

Compton, CA- Many in the medical field love and adore Z Dogg MD. Whether it be following his social media outlets, sharing his YouTube videos or posting in the Facebook group that bears his name, tens of thousands of medical professionals interact with him and his outreach platforms daily. 

A small subgroup have long presumed that Z Dogg was related to Snoop Dogg on the basis of their similar last names. I was one of them. How could the guy with bloodshot eyes, indomitable lyrical abilities and the infamous hair style not be related to Dr. Dre’s left hand man?

It ain’t no fun if Z Dogg can’t have none. 

Unfortunately, it has become apparent to even the most diehard conspiracy theorist that Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr (AKA Snoop Doggy Dogg aka Snoop aka Snoopaloop aka Drizzle) is of no relation to Dr. Zubin Damania (aka Z Dogg MD). 

Unfortunately it appears that this theory was concocted after drinking too much Gin and Juice and must now be dropped like it is hot and allowed to lay low. It ain’t no fun if Z Dogg can’t have none. 


bookmark_borderThanksgiving Miracle: Medical Student Bovies Family Turkey, Remembers to Suction Smoke

Thanksgiving Miracle: Medical Student Bovies Family Turkey, Remembers to Suction Smoke

Arlington, Virginia — This Thanksgiving third year medical student at the University of Virginia and future general surgeon Tucker McMahon offered to carve the family turkey. Relatives were surprised when McMahon switched to Bovie unipolar electrocautery after making the first incision. McMahon, “When it comes to separating fascia and dissecting out delicate structures in a hemostatic and controlled fashion, it’s really hard to beat the Bovie.”

With his younger brother Hunter, a fourth year pre-med at Georgetown, acting as first assist, Tucker was able to enter the bird’s thoracic cavity with relative ease and enough time to pimp Hunter on the constituents of Gammy’s famous stuffing. But not everyone found this as educational as the McMahon brothers. Linda, a cousin visiting from out of town, said of her younger relations, “It was really weird. Tucker washed his hands in the sink for at least four minutes before standing in the middle of the kitchen waiting for me to slip the apron over his head.”

Upon entering the thoracic cavity, Hunter attempted a laparoscopic removal of the bird’s wishbone, a move intended to impress relatives with his minimally invasive and lucratively billable technique. But the turkey’s anatomy proved more complex than anticipated and the brothers converted to open as Gampy’s blood sugar fell dangerously low.

Their mother, Melissa had this to say, “It’s nice to see the boys so eager to help out this year. That said, I’m worried that he’s alienating those of us closest to him with his brooding stares and growing God-complex.” His father chimed in, “I’m not sure what’s gotten into the boy. When my wife was having trouble finding the baster, he was grumbling aloud that ‘we do this the same way, every year.’ I mean, we sent him to medical school with the hope that he would become a playful pediatrician or an inquisitive internist. Now he’s a monster who clomps around in cowboy boots. Where did those even come from?”

Last anyone heard from the McMahon household, Hunter was asking Uncle Dave, an anesthesiologist at Washington Memorial and currently seated at the head of the family feast, “for some reverse T” and to “get ready to hang another bag of gravy.”


bookmark_borderCardiothoracic Surgeon Identifies as Medical Student, Crushes Surgery Rotation

Washington DC- When Lindsey Beer was a medical student, she worked her tail off on every rotation. Taking extra call and coming in early to pre-pre-round regularly. 

Despite all of this, she didn’t get Honors on her general surgery rotation, being forced to settle for a high pass. 

She applied for admission to Georgetown Medical School and didn’t even get an interview as she was “already a physician.”

Last spring, Dr. Beer was complaining about this perceived slight to a fellow surgeon. The other surgeon joked that he would “smoke any rotation now” which for Dr. Beer thinking. 

The next day she applied for admission to Georgetown Medical School and didn’t even get an interview as she was “already a physician.”

So she did the next best thing, she pulled out her shirt white coat from medical school and showed up at Johns Hopkins at 4:00am for general surgery prerounds. 

Over the course of the next 4 weeks she didn’t miss a single pimp question and did the best closures of any medical student in Hopkins history. 

At the end of the rotation, Dr. Beer finally got her beloved Honors evolution. She had it framed and now proudly displays it on the wall of her OR. 

When asked if she felt like she had an unfair advantage against clearly weaker competition, Dr. Beer was unapologetic, “I felt like a student in my heart so I was just living my true self.” 


bookmark_borderA Thanksgiving Warning

A Thanksgiving Warning

Thanksgiving Day is nearing

And the glutton in all of us is cheering.

But while you gorge yourself on that turkey

Your ENT has just one small little plea!

Chew your food and watch for the stray bone!

Otherwise the ambulance you may have to phone.

A trip to the ER will ruin your day

And the hospital will make you pay.

The ER doc will scrunch up his eyes

“CT neck or plain films??” he will agonize.

He’ll listen for any sort of wheezing

The presence of which would be quite uneasing.

The radiologist will hunt for that bony opacity

With vim and vigor, and great tenacity

And show her colleagues your big gaffe.

They will all heartily laugh.

Anesthesia will worry about the airway

But really they’re upset about missing their buffet.

“Oh wait it’s in the esophagus?

Back to the crossword for us!”

A laryngoscope shoved down the throat

Will likely be an antidote.

However, the ENT will be bemoaning

This completely unnecessary deboning!

And for you? You’ll be nauseous

And in the future hopefully more cautious.

A trip to the OR is no pleasure cruise.

The pain will hurt much more than any sort of bruise.

So Happy Thanksgiving from this ENT to you.

In humble supplication, don’t make me blue!

Please, please, please! Chew your food!

And keep us, one and all, in the holiday mood.


bookmark_borderDentistas en Oklahoma City- Dentistas en OKC que Hablen Español

La guía que encontrarás a continuación ha sido creada con el fin de ayudar a personas de habla hispana a encontrar un dentista de emergencia en Oklahoma City y poder recibir la atención dental profesional que necesitas.

Clínicas Dentales 24 horas en Oklahoma City

Dale un vistazo a este artículo para ver tus opciones al tratar de encontrar un dentista de emergencia que hable español en Oklahoma City. Nadie quiere tener que navegar la red buscando a un dentista mientras tiene un dolor de muela insoportable, así que nosotros nos dimos a la tarea de condensar la información que necesitas y hacer esa búsqueda fácil y rápida.

Capitol Hill Dentistry & Braces

Dirección: 235 Southwest 25th Street, Oklahoma City, OK 73109
Teléfono: 405-295-4967
Sitio web:
Descripción: La variedad de servicios ofrecida en esta clínica es muy amplia: implantes, extracciones, ortodoncia, endodoncia, blanqueo, coronas y puentes, protectores bucales para atletas, dentaduras postizas, entre otros. Capitol Hill está abierto de Lunes a Viernes, pero es posible obtener citas los Sábados para aquellos pacientes que necesitan ser atendidos inesperadamente durante el fin de semana o fuera del horario regular de oficina.


  • Lunes a Viernes 8:00 am – 5:00 pm
  • Sábado – Solo con Cita Previa

Cómo llegar

Dental Express

Dirección: 2712 SW 29th Street, Oklahoma City, OK 73119
Teléfono: (405) 212-4549
Sitio web:
Descripción: Este consultorio dental cuenta con servicios dentales de prevención (limpiezas, educación acerca de la higiene dental, tratamientos de flúor, etc.), de pediatría, ortodoncia, endodoncia y cirugías dentales. También cuentan con la opción de sedación para aquellos pacientes que sufren de ansiedad o fobia a los tratamientos dentales. Dental Express también ofrece promociones y descuentos para diferentes tipos de evaluaciones y procedimientos.


  • Lunes – 10:00 am – 6:00 pm
  • Martes 10:00 am – 6:00 pm
  • Miércoles – Cerrado
  • Jueves 10:00 am 6:00 pm
  • Viernes – 10:00 am – 6:00 pm
  • Sábado – Solo con Cita Previa
  • Domingo – Cerrado

Cómo llegar

Affordable Dental

Dirección: 1010 SW 29th St., Oklahoma City, OK 73109
Teléfono: (405) 601-1500
Sitio web:
Descripción: Affordable Dental cuenta con dos ubicaciones, una en Oklahoma City y otra en Norman. En su página Web, cuentan con una oferta de consulta gratis para aquellas personas que estén interesadas en tratamiento ortodóntico con Invisalign. Otros de sus servicios incluyen la colocación de coronas y puentes, recubrimientos de porcelana, cirugías dentales menores, empastes y endodoncias. Para la comodidad de sus pacientes, es posible solicitar y programar citas online.
Doctores: Dr. Jason Chang


  • Lunes a Viernes 9:00 am – 5:00 pm
  • Sábado y Domingo – Cerrado

Cómo llegar

¿Tienes una emergencia dental en Oklahoma City?

Aunque no todos los problemas dentales son de emergencia, es importante consultar a un profesional del sector dental y saber si es indispensable recibir un tratamiento inmediato o si es algo que requerirá de otro tipo de atención. Un dolor de muela o diente puede ser señal de un problema más serio, que puede traer consecuencias graves si no es tratado.

Por esta razon, en nos hemos dado a la tarea de proporcionar una guía con dentistas de emergencia en Oklahoma City, para facilitarte el proceso de ser atendido en caso de tener un problema dental.

Asistencia dental de emergencia en Oklahoma City

Cuando logres comunicarte con un dentista hispano de emergencia en Oklahoma City, te sugerimos que te prepares tanto para proporcionarle información acerca de tu malestar bucal como para solicitar información que tú necesitarás al momento de tu cita. Esto incluye saber si aceptan el tipo de seguro dental que tu tienes, o en caso de no contar con cobertura, que te proporcionen una estimación del costo total de tu tratamiento, y si ofrecen planes de financiamiento o descuentos por pago en efectivo.

Si tienes alergias a ciertos medicamentos, o productos como el látex, asegúrate de informarle al equipo dental y administrativo antes de ser atendido.

Ojala que este artículo te haya facilitado la búsqueda de un dentista de emergencia en Oklahoma City, ¡y que muy pronto tu problema dental sea cosa del pasado!


bookmark_borderDentistas en San José, CA – Dentistas en San José que Hablen Español

Hemos creado este artículo para ayudarte a encontrar dentistas de emergencia que hablen español en San José, CA, y para que puedas solicitar la asistencia dental que necesitas de una manera rápida y eficiente.

Clínicas Dentales 24 horas en San José, CA

Cuando te encuentras en una situación que requiere de atención inmediata, lo último que quieres es pasar horas buscando en la red a un dentista que te pueda ayudar a solucionar el problema. Por esta razón, la guía que te presentamos a continuación fue diseñada para minimizar el tiempo de búsqueda y encontrar alivio pronto.

Dra. Martha E. Barragan

Dirección: 634 N. 13th Street, San Jose, CA 95112
Teléfono: (408) 288-5490
Sitio web:
Descripción: Los servicios principales ofrecidos en este consultorio incluyen endodoncia, ortodoncia, periodoncia, odontología cosmética, puentes y restauración dental. Tres veces por semana, la clínica cuenta con horario extendido, y su atención sabatina también resulta muy conveniente y práctica para personas que necesitan ser atendidas fuera de un horario regular de oficina.
Doctores: Dra. Martha E. Barragan


  • Lunes 10:00 am – 7:00 pm
  • Martes 9:00 am – 6:00 pm
  • Miércoles 10:00 am – 7:00 pm
  • Jueves 10:00 am – 7:00 pm
  • Viernes – Cerrado
  • Sábado 8:00 am – 4:00 pm
  • Domingo – Cerrado

Cómo llegar

Santa Teresa Dental Center

Dirección: 6950 Santa Teresa Blvd., Suite D. San Jose, CA 95119
Teléfono: (402) 359-3989
Sitio web:
Doctores: Dra. Lakshmy Sudeep
Dra. Jessica Yang
Descripción: El consultorio dental Santa Teresa ofrece una amplia gama de servicios dentales: de restauración, pediátrica, ortodoncia, láser e incluso tratamientos para la apnea del sueño. También ofrecen servicios de emergencia, donde pueden programarte una cita para el mismo día o para el día siguiente. En su página Web, puedes encontrar algunas promociones y descuentos para nuevos pacientes o para pacientes existentes.


  • Lunes – 8:00 am – 5:00 pm
  • Martes 9:00 am – 6:00 pm
  • Miércoles 8:00 am – 5:00 pm
  • Jueves 8:00 am – 5:00 pm
  • Viernes – Solo para Citas de Emergencia
  • Sábado 8:00 am – 2:30 pm (Abierto cada 2 semanas)
  • Domingo – Cerrado

Cómo llegar

Plaza Dental Group

Dirección: 4205 San Felipe Road, Suite 200, San Jose, CA 95135
Teléfono: (408) 270-4333
Sitio web:
Descripción: Plaza Dental Group cuenta con diferentes tipos de servicios odontológicos, que van desde limpiezas y chequeos de rutina, hasta endodoncias, extracciones e implantes. Esta clínica también ofrece servicios de odontología pediátrica, por lo que toda la familia puede ser atendida en el mismo consultorio. Los Miércoles y Jueves cuentan con horario extendido, lo cual es muy conveniente en casos de emergencia fuera del horario de oficina. También, es posible solicitar citas a través de su sitio Web para la comodidad de los pacientes.
Doctores: Dr. Douglas W. Vierra
Dra. Sharon D. Hoefling
Dr. Rudy Y. Reddy

  • Lunes 8:00 am – 5:00 pm
  • Martes 8:00 am – 5:00 pm
  • Miércoles 8:00 am – 8:00 pm
  • Jueves 8:00 am – 8:00 pm
  • Viernes 8:00 am – 5:00 pm
  • Sábado y Domingo – Cerrado

Cómo llegar

¿Tienes una emergencia dental en San José, CA?

A veces no importa qué tan precavidos seamos con nuestro cuidado bucal y las emergencias dentales aun así pueden hacer acto de presencia. Es importante contar con la información necesaria para saber qué hacer en caso de que sea una situación que requiere de atención inmediata. Lo mejor es no entrar en pánico y tranquilamente tratar de buscar a un profesional dental que nos pueda ofrecer sus servicios y nos diga qué hacer hasta el momento de recibirlos.

Por esta razón, en hemos generado este artículo que puede reducir tu tiempo de espera y facilitar la búsqueda de un dentista de 24 horas en San Jose, CA.
Ya sea que se te haya caído o roto un diente un día antes de un gran evento, o que tengas un problema más serio relacionado con un absceso dental, no dejes pasar tiempo y dale un vistazo a esta guía que te permitirá encontrar ayuda pronto.

Asistencia dental de emergencia en San José, CA

Si lograste localizar y hablar con un dentista hispano de emergencia en San José, ahora el siguiente paso será prepararte para tu cita. Si tienes seguro dental, es indispensable que lleves la tarjeta de dicho seguro con toda la información de tu número de póliza, grupo, etc. Esto será solicitado por el personal administrativo y querrás tener todo este tipo de información lista para evitar retrasos o confusiones con el modo de pago por los servicios recibidos.

Por otro lado, si no cuentas con cobertura dental, te recomendamos que hagas todas las preguntas necesarias acerca del costo del tratamiento, opciones de financiamiento, tarjetas de crédito/débito aceptadas, descuentos por pago con efectivo, entre otros.

También no dudes en preguntar acerca de los tipos de servicios que recibirás, cuales son tus opciones, o si existe alguna información impresa o digital que te ayude a conocer más acerca de estos. Es justo e importante saber a qué tratamiento nos vamos a someter y en qué consiste.

Esperamos que esta información te ayude a llegar preparado, pero sobre todo, ¡que logres encontrar la ayuda profesional que necesitas lo más pronto posible!


bookmark_borderPlastic Surgeons Return from a Successful Trip Providing Breast Augmentations to Underserved Women

Plastic Surgeons Return from a Successful Trip Providing Breast Augmentations to Underserved Women

OLYMPIA, WA- When Maria Perez of Huanuco, Peru turned 18 and still had small breasts her parents did not know what to do. “We were just so afraid that she would suffer from this affliction her whole life” Carlos Perez, the now 20 year old’s father said.

Luckily for the Perez family, and the families of many other young women from Central Peru, a group of dedicated physicians from Cowlitz Plastic Surgery volunteer their expertise for 10 days every year to perform breast augmentations for women who have little or no access to these much needed operations. “Thanks to the work of Dr. Heine and his team our daughter can live a happy and fulfilled life” says Perez.

These mission trips after started when Dr. Samuel Heine visited Huanuco on a vacation in 2009. “It was impossible to be there and ignore the suffering that I saw all around me. In any first world country if you have small breasts you get the medical care that you need. I just couldn’t accept that it should be any different there”.

Since 2010, when their first mission trip occurred, Heine and his colleagues have performed over 400 breast augmentations for those in need.

“It’s just been amazing to get to go back year after year and see the difference that these augmentations have made in people’s lives” says Heine. “I remember this one young woman who we treated in 2011. At that time she was unmarried, unemployed and had no future ahead of her. When we saw her again in 2014 she was already on her second marriage, and was already courting a third, more wealthy, man. It is incredible to see the positive change that our work can do for these women“.

Never satisfied with his impact on the world, Heine currently has plans to expand these mission trips to other parts of the world. “Just last year I was in Cambodia with my brother and we saw countless women who were desperately in need of breast augmentation surgery. It just makes you realize that no matter how many operations we perform, there will always be another woman in need of a new chest.”


bookmark_borderABIM Sponsors New Game Show: Who Wants to be Certified a Million Years?

ABIM Sponsors New Game Show: Who Wants to be Certified a Million Years?

PHILADELPHIA, PA—Unable to develop a recertification exam that is satisfactory to all, the American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) now seems to be trying out every cockamamie idea. Current and proposed testing options include a 10-year traditional exam (boring), a 2-yr Knowledge Check-In (aw, this one sounds cute), a longitudinal assessment (longitudinal? Is this a geography exam?), and even a daily recertification exam. Now comes yet another option, one that was originally submitted as a joke by a group of drunk medical residents but was readily accepted by ABIM: Compete on a game show called Who Wants to be Certified a Million Years?

Hosted by Regis Philbin, contestants must answer a series of 15 board-style multiple-choice questions. With each correct answer, contestants accrue more and more years of certification. If all 15 questions are answered correctly, they will become board-certified for ONE MILLION YEARS!

Sources present at the taping of the first episode report some early problems though. Regis took half-an-hour to read every question because he had such trouble pronouncing the medical terms. After struggling with dementia and aphasia (the actual words, that is…but ok, maybe the conditions too), a visibly frustrated Regis stormed off the set, mumbling to no one in particular that he doesn’t understand the premise of this show, that a million years is way too long (“Trust me, I’ve been around a million years, so I would know”) and that he was falsely promised Kathie Lee could be his co-host.

For the next host, producers chose someone with a little more medical knowledge (kind of): Patrick Dempsey. After playing a surgeon for over a decade on Grey’s Anatomy, the thinking was that he must have picked up some medical expertise. Indeed, Dempsey had no trouble reading the questions, but he seemed less than thrilled with them. “Where are the questions about real medical situations, like when there are a bunch of hot, new female interns, and you have to decide which one to sleep with?” he asked.

As for the contestants, the biggest winner on day one was an internist from Minnesota, Paul Quinn, who walked away with 1,000 years of certification. Producers, however, were furious he didn’t try for a million years, especially since he still had 2 lifelines—STAT-Consult-a-Colleague and Ask Alexa. But Quinn left anyway, saying, “Yeah I think I’ll be just fine with only a thousand years.”

So, who wants to be board-certified for a million years? If you answered “Yes, and that’s my final answer,” then call ABIM now and select testing option #350. Oh, and non-physicians are welcome to compete too! Good luck!


bookmark_borderNew Joint Commission ER screen now Mandatory at Hospitals

New Joint Commission ER screen now Mandatory at Hospitals

Due to multiple complaints as well as a couple of negative outcomes related to sandwiches in ERs around the country, JCAHO this week unveiled a new mandatory ER screen, the TASTE-E. Any patient presenting who meets any of the following criteria must be screened to predict potential sandwich-related complications:

Currently hungry

Anticipates hunger within the next two hours

Has, for a period of no less than ten minutes, experienced hunger within his or her life-time

For patients who answer in the affirmative to any of the questions above, the TASTE-E screen must be administered. If the patient screens positive on TASTE-E a Sandwich Therapy and Social Work consultation must be placed, and the patient should be provided with pictures of various sandwiches pertinent to their identified gender and ethnicity.

The screen is as follows:

T: Are you currently ­tempted to consume food for either nutritional, recreational, or emotional reasons (1 point)

A: do you currently have an appetite, or have you had an appetite historically, regardless of intensity or chronicity? (1 point)

S: Do you eat sandwiches? (1 point)

T: Are you triggered by tough meat or poorly textured vegetarian options (1 point)

E: Do you experience elevated mood when eating a food item that is either prepared in an exceptional fashion, contains high amounts of sugar, or has been deep-fried? (1 point)

E: If presented with a food item at this moment would you eat it? (2 points)

The following actions must be taken depending on patient response:

0 points: initiate cardiac resuscitation

1-2 points: give patient a sandwich with option of condiment consistent with ethic identification

3-5 points: offer to order-in the patient’s choice of food at facility expense

5-7 points: immediately initiate a 1:1 sandwich chef along with a prescription for alprazolam and a referral for PTSD counseling.


bookmark_borderNationwide Recall of Cadavers Issued After One Found Alive in Anatomy Lab

Nationwide Recall of Cadavers Issued After One Found Alive in Anatomy Lab

ENCINO, CA—A nationwide recall of human cadavers was issued today after a petrified group of anatomy students at a California medical school discovered a major defect in its cadaver: It was still alive.

Yesterday morning, medical student Edward S Hands says he had just cut into an arm using scissors when the cadaver—affectionately nicknamed “Kenny”—suddenly sat straight up, looked around in a daze, spotted the deep cuts in his arm and body, and calmly said, “Ouch”. Then, hopping off the table, he wrapped a drape around his waist and marched right out of the room.

Body donation organizations are at a loss to explain how a living person could have slipped through the cracks. “We take pride in delivering the highest quality corpses,” said Abby Cadavvy, CEO of Sesame Medical Care, a major cadaver supplier, “ones that will lie perfectly still on the table while students dissect it. We regret that a clearly defective cadaver made its way into an anatomy lab.”

Upon learning of the incident, the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services (HHS) made the unprecedented decision to recall every cadaver. “All cadavers must be sent back to the body donation companies,” said Secretary of HHS Alex Azar, “so they can make sure that the bodies are, in fact, 100% dead.”

Once the bodies are received, they will perform 72-hour cardiac monitoring, 48-hour EEG monitoring, 24 hours of continuous CPR, a Mini-Mental State Exam and a colonoscopy on each body to search for any signs of life.

Wait, a colonoscopy?! “Yes,” said Azar, “because if they are still alive, they’ll make that abundantly clear when you shove a tube up their…well, you get the picture.”

Meanwhile, medical students across the country are reacting to the news of the recall. “Oh my word!” exclaimed Bernardette Lomax, a med student in NY. “We’ve been slicing our cadaver for weeks already. It’d be devastating to learn she’s been alive this whole time!”

As for Kenny, authorities are eager to speak to him and examine him medically, but he hasn’t been seen since his dramatic exit from the anatomy lab. Asking the public for help in locating him, they warn that he may be unarmed and in danger.

Authorities also wish to interview the anatomy professor and the other two-dozen students who witnessed Kenny’s revival (aka #TheyResurrectedKenny), but they too have been unavailable for comment because they all remain in the anatomy lab, frozen in place, eyes wide and mouth agape. In fact, it appears they’ve all been frightened to death…but the good news, at least, is they can now be used as replacement cadavers.


bookmark_borderTrojan Releases New ‘Bare Skin’ Surgical Gloves

Trojan Releases New ‘Bare Skin’ Surgical Gloves

In an effort to diversify their market share, Trojan has unveiled a new line of “Bare Skin” surgical gloves aimed to maximize the surgeon’s comfort and operative satisfaction. The product has already been rolled out in select hospitals, and the soft launch has been a rousing success.

The idea was first brought to Trojan by Dr Tiger Letterman, a self-described surgery enthusiast who was displeased with standard forms of surgical protection. “I always feel that my operations are lacking a certain tactile stimulation” Dr Letterman would often say to anyone unfortunate enough to make eye contact with him during a case. Now, he describes himself as “chilled and thrilled” with the comfort of the new Bare Skin product. Tiger told reporters “though I would rather just work with my raw hands, if I am forced to wear gloves I would choose these every night of the week.”

A spokesman for Trojan’s surgical division was quick to point out that, while comfort is important, the main objective for their new line of gloves is the same as any personal protective equipment: to prevent the transmission of communicable diseases (which Trojan has termed Surgically Transmitted Infections, or STIs). And, as always, double gloving is probably the safest option, just to be sure.

Trojan also emphasized that their Bare Skin gloves will not be the dull blue or off-white gloves seen in most current ORs, and instead will come in a variety of bright neon colors and have an optional tutti-frutti flavor, if desired.

While the Bare Skin Glove is already off to a smashing start, the company is simply hoping that this product will be more successful than their disastrous Lubricated Surgical Glove campaign.


bookmark_borderLaparoscopic Training Box Septic After Practice Session with Interns

Laparoscopic Training Box Septic After Practice Session with Interns

An inanimate training apparatus, made up of a plastic box with holes to place a laparoscopic camera and graspers, is in critical condition after a practice session with a group of surgical interns. The incident occurred during routine Monday morning training curriculum, a protected time for the interns when they are only paged about life or death bowel regimens. After a brief demonstration on peg transfers, which entails moving a plastic ring across a board from one rod to another, the interns were sicked on the machines for practice.

After one intern’s particularly aggressive round of flailing on the box, the video monitor suddenly went blank; then, in what is spontaneously being hailed as a both a miracle of modern robotics and a tragedy of modern medical education, the screen instead started showing a running list of vitals and with audible beeps of a heart monitor.

Noting fever, tachycardia, and hypotension, along with a new faint noise that could only be described as gasping breath sounds the intern doctors were quick to act, promptly Googling these symptoms to figure out what to do. The group was thus able to conclude that the box was septic. One of the more hardy interns grabbed two nearby IV bags of saline and shoved these into the device with only a transient improvement in vitals, which then continued to deteriorate. The interns, desperate to “fill the tank,” scrambled around to find a few more bags of fluid with “Yakety Sax” surreptitiously playing in the background. At this point, the training box was asking if it could maybe get transferred to an area of the hospital with access to a Da Vinci robot.

Concerned about job security the interns worked up the courage to call The Chief for help, who was equally impressed by the spontaneous development of synthetic consciousness and the crashing clinical course; she promptly advised them to unplug it and then plug it back in.


bookmark_borderPatient: Sometimes I Feel Like My Doctor Has Never Seen Adult Neuronal Ceroid Lipofuscinosis Before

Patient: Sometimes I Feel Like My Doctor Has Never Seen Adult Neuronal Ceroid Lipofuscinosis Before


I recently moved and started seeing a new doctor, Dr. Aidan Nord. For the most part, he’s been great, but I continue to be bothered by one minor concern: Sometimes I feel like he’s never seen Adult Neuronal Ceroid Lipofuscinosis—a condition I’ve battled for a decade—before.

I realize it’s an insane thought, as I’m sure ANCL (pronounced “ankle”), as those in the health care biz call it, is taught on day one of medical school and then seen in live patients throughout the clinical years. It’s just that something seemed off during my first visit with Dr. Nord when I explained to him that I had ANCL. He just stared at me blankly for a while and then pulled out his IPhone. He claimed he had an urgent text to respond to, but I could’ve sworn he was googling “adult neuronal ceroid lipofuscinosis”.

I know, I know…I’m being paranoid to even think he was using Google to learn about a medical disorder he must have learned about years ago. It’s just that he asked me how to spell “ceroid” and “lipofuscinosis”, words any 3-year-old could spell.

Anyway, he was probably just joking. I mean he’s board-certified—he couldn’t possibly have passed the board exam without knowing how to diagnose and treat ANCL, right?

I won’t bore you with details about my disease; after all, this is a medical website, so I’m sure all your readers already know everything there is to know about ANCL. But I’m a little concerned about Dr. Nord. When I asked him to check the status of my specific type of ANCL, he didn’t seem to know that he should order an enzyme assay for the activity level of cathepsin F—I mean, can you imagine? Must have been an off day.

What do you think, GomerBlog? Do I have a right to be worried about my doctor’s level of ANCL knowledge?

—Cer-iously Concerned about Clinician’s Ceroid Comprehension


Yes, you do. Please find a better doctor, one who knows every single detail about each of the estimated 100,000 human diseases. We happen to know of two such docs: Dr. UpToDate and Dr. Google. Start there.

Of course, we here at GomerBlog also know everything about every disease, including your neurometabolic disorder with a prevalence of 1 person out of 6 million. We promise we did not just look that up at:

Nope, no way. We’re just providing the website for everyone else.



bookmark_borderSurgeon General: Generation of Adults, Unwisely Formula-Fed as Infants, Should Start Getting Breastfed Now

Surgeon General: Generation of Adults, Unwisely Formula-Fed as Infants, Should Start Getting Breastfed Now

WASHINGTON, DC—Mrs. Beaumont came home early one day last week and walked in on her 50-year-old husband sucking on the nipple of a gorgeous and engorged woman a quarter century younger than him. But instead of getting angry, she just smiled and latched on to the woman’s other breast. This was no kinky ménage-a-trois; the Beaumonts were just really, really hungry.

This exact scenario is playing out all across America, just weeks after Jerome Adams, the Surgeon General, shockingly advised a generation of Americans who were formula-fed as babies in the 1960s and 70s to immediately begin a year of exclusive breastfeeding. These citizens, now middle-aged, were born at a time when formula was king and thus missed out on the plethora of health benefits—including prevention of all sorts of illnesses—gained from nursing. Promisingly, a new study has concluded that it’s never too late to attain the health benefits from breastfeeding, leading to the new recommendations.

“Of course, we aren’t suggesting 45-year-old men and women should get nursed by their mommies,” continued Adams, before quickly apologizing for even mentioning such a disturbing mental image and offering to pay for vomit-cleanup bills.

More acceptable breastfeeding options include hiring lactation prostitutes (“pay-for-lait”), like the Beaumonts have done, hiring wet nurses (costlier than prostitutes) or being nursed by a female partner.

Melissa Milkman, who recently delivered twin boys, complained, “Between the twins and my husband, there’s not enough milk or boobs to go around. The three of them are always fighting for access. I need a 3rd one for sure!”

But it’s not just men who need the nutrients from breastmilk—formula-fed women need them too. Thus, many couples have been started on prolactin therapy so that they can produce enough milk for each other. One such couple called it “an intoxicating bonding experience like no other.”

Not everyone is pleased with this new policy, though. Because people searching for breastmilk have stopped going out to eat, restaurants are suffering; that is, except for Hooters, whose waitresses have been serving up their boobs for years.

Also not pleased are people unaffected by the new policy; they are nauseated by the public displays of lactation. Even Nestle, a company that once controversially marketed its formula as superior to breastmilk, has had enough, proclaiming, “Please, for the love of God, mothers of the world: Breastfeed your infants!! No more formula…just nurse your babies so we don’t have to relive this nightmare again in 50 years!”


bookmark_borderHDL Cholesterol Breaks Bad, Tired of Always Being the “Good” On

HDL Cholesterol Breaks Bad, Tired of Always Being the “Good” On

ALBUQUERQUE, NM—High-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol, the so-called “good” cholesterol that helpfully clears away cholesterol deposits from arteries, is tired of always being the good one and is now breaking bad. Totally done with being a goody-two-shoes, HDL says it intends to “outbad” its cousin LDL, the notorious “bad” cholesterol.

“It’s gone ballistic!” said Walter W., a chemist at a top pharmaceutical company who’s hastily trying to develop a drug to stop the rogue HDL. “It’s firing fat and cholesterol everywhere, clogging up arteries, turning flat bellies into potbellies and potbellies into elephant bellies. In the past, HDL would return cholesterol to the liver for processing; now it’s completely ignoring the liver. If we don’t stop it soon, it will make everybody oversized.”

“Never seen anything like it,” said ER doc, Hank S. “An oversized guy presented in heart failure—his tests then showed his entire heart musculature had been replaced by fat! Another dude had an MI and literally every vessel entering, exiting and within the heart was completely occluded by fat and cholesterol. One other guy sweated out so much fat one night that when he woke up, he was encased in a shell of fat. These people have no shot—this new big, bad HDL is a killer, worse than LDL ever was.”

This unexpected heel turn by HDL has shaken most doctors to the core. But not everyone is surprised that HDL is acting out. “I’ve been seeing HDL for years,” said J. Melfi, a molecular psychologist—an expert in the behavior of molecules—who agreed to break confidentiality since her client has been deemed a threat to others. “HDL is having an identity crisis. It’s just plain tired of being seen as good. Like a nice guy craving the attention that bad guys get from women, HDL yearns for the attention that the bad LDL gets. It doesn’t matter that the attention LDL gets is from doctors who are trying to destroy it. Any attention is good attention in its mind.”

HDL is also puzzled by other parts of its name, not just the “good” part, complaining, “Why am I called high-density? Are they calling me “dense”? They think I’m stupid?!”

It also hates the “cholesterol” part of its name. “I’m so much more complex than just cholesterol,” correctly opined the HDL particle which also consists of proteins, phospholipids and triglycerides.

“It’s just so confused,” said Dr. Melfi. “I know deep down HDL is really good, but right now it’s acting like the world’s biggest villain. I just can’t get through to it anymore.”

Take, for example, this recent tirade by HDL after Dr. Melfi warned it that it may be in grave danger with chemists like Walter W. hard at work making drugs to stop it. “Let me clue you in on something!” the HDL particle snapped. “You really think I’m in danger? No, I am the danger! You look at me and think some hack scientist is gonna develop a drug to block me? No. I am the one who blocks (arteries). I am the one who blocks!”

“Say my name!” HDL then demanded of Melfi. To which Melfi sheepishly said, “Uh, Very Bad Cholesterol?” and HDL angrily replied, “No! Call me Oversizenberg!”


bookmark_borderNational Academy of Medicine OKs using rectal gases instead of venous gases in hard stick patients

National Academy of Medicine OKs using rectal gases instead of venous gases in hard stick patients

Minneapolis, Minnesota – In what appears to be a practice changing announcement, the National Academy of Medicine (NAM) released an update to its exceptional Factors Affecting Routine Treatment (eFART) factsheet.

In the section on hard to stick patients, NAM’s latest eFART summarizes several studies and states that a timely treatment surpasses the need for accurate measurements of gas constituents. A study from University of Alabama shows that rectal gases include high concentration of nitrogen and methane but a reliable content of carbon dioxide and oxygen.

It found that with a careful setup of reference value, both oxygen and CO2 can be reliably recorded either as a spot measurement or be trended over time. Another study from university of Georgia demonstrated the high accuracy of EtCO2 sensor if and when connected to a rectal tube, referencing the Atlanta’s ICU incidence from August 2015.

In hard stick patients, rectal gases may spare repetitive vascular access attempts, and allow reduced patient discomfort and staff allocation. They are spontaneously discharged and can be readily collected by watchful waiting or by increasing the content of beans in the patients’ meals.

An RCT study from Tulane University showed non inferiority in all mortality causes in two ICU units in New Orleans when using rectal gases compared with venous blood gases. “Unfortunately this RTC could not be double blinded, but the results are encouraging” states the eFART.

“This news really breaks wind,” says Dr. Juan LaPedo, an intensivist from ENMMC. “It’s a fresh current of air to our edematous patients.” Opposite of this view, Dr. Emil Colón from the department of proctology in the University of Chicago (previously its rector) believes that, “This entire deal is just pure hot air.”


bookmark_borderNurse Ratched Unretires to Become Preschool Nurse

Nurse Ratched Unretires to Become Preschool Nurse

SALEM, OR—Nurse Ratched, the villainous nurse from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest has come out of retirement to become the new nurse at Randle McMurphy Preschool in Salem, Oregon. It is unclear why the very old curmudgeon is returning to the work force, but one thing is crystal clear: old age has not softened her one bit.

Nurse Ratched reluctantly accepted GomerBlog’s request to observe her first day on the job. Below is a description of what we witnessed:

1. A 4-year-old girl presented complaining of a “runny nose”. Nurse Ratched sighed loudly and said, “Ugh, I can’t stand snot-nosed kids. I’d give you a tissue but you probably have no clue how to blow your nose, and I have no time to teach you. So I’m just gonna remove your nose—that’ll take care of your problem.” She then dragged the frightened girl to a private room and blocked us from following. So it’s uncertain if she was just playing the popular children’s game of pretending to snatch each other’s noses or if she actually physically removed the girl’s nose. All we can report is we heard A LOT of screaming.

2. A 3 y/o boy presented c/o “leg pain”, and he requested a Band-Aid for it. Nurse Ratched examined his leg and noted a few tiny, non-bleeding, properly healing cuts. “You don’t need a Band-Aid,” Ratched bluntly stated, which prompted the boy to scream, “But it hurts so much! I want a Band-Aid!” But Ratched was not moved and snapped back at the boy: “By what mechanism could a freaking Band-Aid make your pain go away? What exactly do you think a Band-Aid does? Now scram, you little runt!” The petrified boy ran away in tears.

3. A 3 y/o girl was sent to Nurse Ratched by her teacher because of an hours-long tantrum. Upon arrival to the nurse’s office, the girl was flailing her arms and legs and screaming at the top of her lungs. Nurse Ratched promptly injected her with Haldol, placed her in a straitjacket and sent her back to class.

4. A 5 y/o boy went to see Nurse Ratched because he was having trouble urinating. One look at the menacing scowl on Ratched’s face and his problem was solved, except for the fact that he went in his pants.

These are but a few examples of Nurse Ratched’s encounters with the preschool kids. Others were just too disturbing to report. God help these poor kids at Randle McMurphy Preschool!


bookmark_borderCan thermal imaging detect breast cancer?

If Bal Gill had not chosen to visit the Camera Obscura and World of Illusions at Edinburgh’s Royal Mile earlier this year, there’s a good chance she would be facing a death sentence instead.

The tourist attraction in the Scottish capital is a popular destination for tourists to the city and offers, among other things, an opportunity to get a thermal image of your body, showing its varying internal temperatures.

Although she didn’t know it at the time, the technology is identical in its science, if not its application, to the screening tool, ThermoCheck®, that we use here at The Natural Doctor to help monitor breast health, including breast cancer.

What Bal’s image showed was significant tissue heat in one breast that wasn’t replicated in the other. The disparity was enough to persuade her to do some more research when she got home – which was when she learned about breast thermography.

Often when there is a problem in the body, the tissue becomes inflamed and hotter as our natural immune system kicks in to try to combat that problem.

In this way, abnormal tissue temperature is a warning sign of a potential problem. Furthermore, cancer cells generate heat from their increased metabolism and their stimulation of new blood vessels to nurture their growth.

Breast thermography uses thermal imaging cameras to capture these heat abnormalities. Undertaken regularly and from an early age – breast thermography is suitable for women of all ages, whilst mammography is not – it can identify potential health risk many years before the problem presents as a physical abnormality such as a thickening or lump.

Bal was right to be concerned and having discovered that thermal imaging was increasingly used by oncologists and private clinics like ours to help spot signs of breast cancer, she went to her GP and asked to be referred.

A positive diagnosis of breast cancer quickly followed. Luckily for Bal, it was caught early enough to be treated and six months and two of three planned surgeries later, her prognosis is good.

If you’re familiar with our work and our regular blogs, you’ll know that I’m constantly mystified by the persistent refusal of the NHS, Public Health England and the Third Sector to embrace thermography.

Some clinicians argue there is not enough clinical evidence (for this read: clinical trials) to support the view that thermography is reliable as a screening tool. However, trials show that when it is done correctly it has high levels of accuracy in detecting the presence of breast cancers.

By any comparison, breast thermography is a better screening option than mammography (although we argue the two should be used in a complementary monitoring strategy).

  • Breast thermography is suitable for every woman of any age. Mammography is unsuitable for young women due to breast tissue density and is only offered routinely to women when they reach the age of 47 (there are exceptions to this, notably where there is a family history of breast cancer);
  • Breast thermography is non-invasive. Mammography requires the breast to be crushed between imaging plates – a process that there are some concerns may be detrimental to an existing breast cancer;
  • Breast thermography carries no risk of irradiation. Mammography, which uses radiation to generate the image, can increase the risk of breast cancer especially in pre-menopausal women;
  • The accuracy of breast thermography is as high as 95% under certain conditions. Mammography is nearer 70% positive;
  • Breast thermography can identify potential risk up to a decade earlier than mammography would be able to spot the smallest tumour, giving women a chance to make lifestyle changes that could avoid contracting the disease altogether;
  • Crucially, breast thermography can identify risk while mammography, even at its most accurate, can only confirm that you have an existing structural problem.

Bal Gill has a good chance of a complete recovery thanks to a chance image at a tourist attraction and her own presence of mind to take a photo of the image when she realised that her body thermogram was different to other women’s.

But the sad fact is, everyone woman can and should have the opportunity to have the same good fortune as a matter of routine.

The chance encounter with the thermal imaging camera in Edinburgh meant the disease was caught in its early stages, so although a mastectomy means Bal has paid a high price for her survival, she is nevertheless hugely grateful for the opportunity she was given to tackle the problem.

There are two issues here, though. The first is what might have happened if she and her family hadn’t visited the Camera Obscura & World of Illusions that day. The second is what would have happened if she had been aware of breast thermography before that day.

Let’s assume for a moment that Bal had never gone on that family visit. She is 41 years old, and so would not have been eligible for a regular mammogram. The chances are, the first she would have known about the disease was when she found a lump some time – possibly months or years later. By which time it may or may not have been too late to treat the disease.

If she had been aware of thermography? The truth is of course that she might never have elected to have a thermogram and she would have been in the same boat.

If she had opted for a thermogram  there’s a good chance the risk would have been picked up earlier – perhaps early enough to have allowed her to avoid a mastectomy.

Actually, whether she would have elected to have a thermogram or not isn’t really the point. The real point is that the continued determination in the clinical world to ignore the potential benefits of thermography screening means she never really had the option.

As we say goodbye to October and Breast Awareness Month for another year, Bal Gill’s story is absolute proof that breast thermography can be a force for good in the war on breast cancer. It’s time our clinical decision-makers got on board with it.

If you’d like to know more about our ThermoCheck® breast thermography service, please visit our dedicated page or get in touch for a confidential discussion.

The post Can thermal imaging detect breast cancer? appeared first on The Natural Doctor.


bookmark_borderMichelin Guide Awards 3 Stars to Hospital Cafeteria

Michelin Guide Awards 3 Stars to Hospital Cafeteria

DETROIT, MI—The Michelin Guide, the prestigious restaurant ratings book, awarded 3 stars—its highest honor—to only 133 eateries worldwide in its latest edition. But today a 134th one, accidentally left out of the publication, was named, and it was a bombshell: the cafeteria located inside Michigan Medical Center (MMC).

“This must be a joke,” said MMC patient, Mitt Chellan, as he spit out a bone from the green slop on his plate. “This food is nasty! I ordered this from the vegan menu—why would a vegan dish have a bone? Ugh, I’ve been eating this crap for a week. It gave me explosive diarrhea—and that’s on top of the c diff-associated diarrhea that I was admitted for.”

“Oh hell no!” said hospital nutritionist Mitch Ellin. “The cafeteria food is revolting. And that’s coming from a hospital-employed dietitian. Are you sure it didn’t get -3 stars?”

“It’s nice to be recognized,” said head chef Michelle Lin, whose menu was heavily influenced by the “food” she used to serve at a prison cafeteria, “but this has to be a mistake. We had about 50 health code violations last month alone. I wouldn’t even eat this food.”

But Michelin Guide editors insist this is no practical joke. “All of our experienced inspectors gave the cafeteria exceptionally high marks in all 5 criteria we assess,” said the head editor. “That includes mastery of flavor, quality of food and consistency between visits.”

“Uh, sure, I agree,” said Lin, “if, by that, they mean mastery of no flavor, highest quality rat food and consistently rotten food.”

Conspiracy theorists allege some underhanded business must have taken place between the tire company and the hospital. Their claims are not without merit: keen observers have noticed that hospital stretchers were suddenly sporting oversized Michelin tires and that a new sign was placed out front welcoming people to the “Michelin Medical Center”.

Meanwhile, chefs at the other 133 triple-starred establishments were none too pleased to have their esteemed restaurants associated with a lowly, dingy hospital cafeteria. With their noses in the air, these chefs called on Michelin to remove the unworthy cafeteria from its list. But in another stunning twist, the company removed the 133 complaining restaurants instead. And that is how a nondescript hospital canteen became known as the world’s greatest restaurant, an overnight sensation with current waiting lists of up to 12 months for a table.

We hear the bony vegan slop is a huge hit. “Bone” Appetit!


bookmark_borderHospital Security Successfully Lobbies for Independent Practice

Hospital Security Successfully Lobbies for Independent Practice

Reno, NV – In a rare demonstration of bipartisan support, hospital security officers were granted full and unrestricted rights to practice police work independently in the State of Nevada. The lobby for security officers praised the move. “It is no secret that we have a shortage of police officers in America,” said Officer Michael Fink, H.S, S.O, C.P (Hospital Security, Security Official, and Certified Protector, respectively). “Allowing us to carry firearms and handcuffs independently of police jurisdiction will enable us to contribute to the safety of our community.”

Others were more tepid in their response. “Police officers have to meet very rigorous standards. It requires intense training that takes years to complete at the academy. You can’t just slap a badge on and call yourself an officer,” according to Police Chief Kyle Millen.

When asked for comment in response to Mr. Millen’s statement, Officer Fink, H.S, S.O, C.P had this to say, “Studies show that people who were breaking the law preferred to be stopped by a security officer rather than a police officer. So, we actually provide a higher quality of safety if you think about it.”

Local Security Officer Bob Sweeny was excited by the move. “I completed most of my training online, but the simulations are pretty good and I feel like I’m ready for it. Now I just have to decide what I want to be. I’ve narrowed it down to Detective, Forensic Specialist, and Homicide investigator.”

At press time, Officer Sweeny had accidentally discharged his firearm from his holster, resulting in mass panic. Police Officers were widely condemned for their negligence in the matter.


bookmark_borderMed Student Stumped When Pilot Asks, “Anyone On Board a Doctor?”

Med Student Stumped When Pilot Asks, “Anyone On Board a Doctor?”

FLYOVER COUNTRY, USA—While flying cross-country from California to New York, Simon Garvey’s worst nightmare came true: an elderly female passenger fainted, and there was an urgent need for medical assistance. When the pilot asked, “Anyone on board a doctor?”, Garvey, a lowly 2nd-year medical student, had no idea how to respond.

After praying that a real doctor was on board and quickly realizing there was not, an internal struggle ensued within Mr. Garvey. “Well, I’m technically not a doctor,” he reasoned to himself. “I should remain silent. If he asks for a med student, then I’ll speak up.

“But c’mon, Simon,” he thought, “why would the pilot ask specifically for a med student? When he asked for a doctor, he really meant any healthcare professional, be it doctor, nurse, paramedic, student, chiropractor, dentist or even a dermatologist. I should say ‘Yes!’ and go help the poor lady.

“Wait, let’s slow down and think this through. Can I actually help her? I’ve only learned from books and cadavers so far. This is real life! She’s alive—well, at least I hope she is. I don’t know how to help living patients! What if I mismanage her, and they discover I’m just a stupid, know-absolutely-nothing student? They’ll sue my ass! That’s it—I’m not saying a word.

“Ugh, wait, don’t be a loser, Simon! What if I save her life?! I’d be a hero—maybe Carly would be so impressed, she’d wanna date me! Oh, but wait, I’m in the dreaded friend zone with her…ugh…sigh…oh, but what about Yolanda?! She’s hot too—maybe if I save this woman, I’ll have a shot with Yolanda! Let’s do it, Simon!

“But what do I even do for syncope? I have no idea. Maybe start with a brain MRI? Oh, you idiot, there’s no MRI machine on a plane. Plane! Wait a minute, we’re on a plane. I read about long plane rides—maybe she has a PE! That’s it! Oh wait, what do you do for a PE? I skipped that lecture. I’m gonna keep quiet.

“Oh, but Yolanda! I gotta do it for Yolanda! It’s settled, I’m speaking up!”

Mr. Garvey then rose from his seat, cleared his throat and proudly proclaimed, “YES! THERE IS A DOCTOR ON BOARD! ME!!”

Everyone on the plane stopped what they were doing and stared intently at him. Finally, an old lady two rows behind him said, “Geez, thanks. We coulda used you 2 hours ago. The poor lady died as the pilot attempted an emergency landing…”


bookmark_borderThe advantages of being prepared for the menopause

Christine didn’t wait for the symptoms of the menopause to appear before she started tackling them. Having worked in the cosmeceutical industry, she was all too well aware of the potential impact they would have, and so she elected to begin her bioidentical hormone replacement therapy with us early.

Christine already knew Dr Eccles and so The Natural Doctor was an obvious first stop when she began to think about the options available to her when it came to tackling the menopause head-on.

Even so, she did get a glimpse into what a different future without treatment might look like while she and Dr Eccles went through the process of identifying the correct compound that suited her individual needs.

“There was a period where I felt quite rubbish because we were working to get the compound right for me,” Christine said.

“I always believed that prevention was better than cure and so I’d taken an early decision to have bioidentical hormone replacement therapy. But during that first period where we were trying to find the right balance, I experienced anxiety, hot flushes and loss of confidence.

“The anxiety – which I hated – was so unlike me because I’d always been very strong and confident, and the hot flushes weren’t nice. It really did open the door on what I could be letting myself in for without treatment.

“But once we got the doses right, it transformed my life.”

Christine says the fact bioidentical HRT isn’t available on the NHS shouldn’t deter people from trying it.

“There’s nothing vain or narcissistic about wanting the best for your health,” she says. “You only have one body so why not look after it? People think nothing of spending money on a holiday, so why not invest in your health?”

When asked what advice she would give to women faced with the dilemma of how to deal with the symptoms of the menopause, she says the most important thing is to ignore the pressure to opt for NHS treatment and consider BHRT.

“If you don’t try it, you won’t know what it can do for you,” she said. “It helps you to keep your youth and sex drive. I feel as fit as I’ve ever felt, but without bioidentical hormone therapy I think it would be a very different story.”

If you’d like to find out more about our bioidentical hormone replacement therapy for the menopause, why not get in touch for a confidential chat?

The post The advantages of being prepared for the menopause appeared first on The Natural Doctor.


bookmark_borderMCAT Advice for Pre-Med Students, Completely Free (of anything useful)

MCAT Advice for Pre-Med Students, Completely Free (of anything useful)

Here at GomerBlog, we believe that the children are our future and that pre-med students are the future of medicine. So it’s our mission to help them in any way we can as they are about to give up their social lives for the next decade and embark on the craziest adventure of their lives. The initial topic we wish to cover is the medical school entrance exam called the MCATs. We hope that after you read this MCAT review, which is completely free (of anything useful), you will be ready to ace the exam.

First, we asked a group of seasoned doctors about their unforgettable MCAT experiences. Here are the responses:

1. “The what?? Never heard of it.”

2. “No idea what you’re talking about.”

3. “I’m sure I took it—I must have. But for the life of me, I cannot recall a single thing that we were tested on.”

4. “Oh sure, the MCATs. I remember those. I think I scored a perfect 1600.”

5. “Hmmm. I remember taking the PSATs, SATs, ACT, USMLE Steps 1, 2 and 3, and the Medical Boards. I even remember the ERBs in elementary school. But MCATs? No recollection of it.”

6. “Is that the one where actors pretend to have a disease and you have to guess which one?”

But not everyone has completely forgotten the MCATs:

1. “How could I forget? I took it 10 times before I finally just barely passed. Sure, I’d love to teach an MCAT review course for your pre-med readers. Thanks for offering!”

2. “MCATs??? Why’d you have to bring that word up? Thanks a lot! You just triggered my PTSD!”

3. “Sure, I remember. I aced the math section, but the verbal section killed me. Hate those stupid analogies.”

Many had some sound advice about studying for the MCATs and getting into med school:

1. “Why even bother studying? You’ll never have to use any of the stuff it tests you on in real life.”

2. “Just read every GomerBlog article a hundred times, retweet them all, and you’ll crush the exam.”

3. “Oh, I think I scored a 0 on the MCATs, but I still got into med school cause my folks paid a $5 million bribe to the school. Tell your parents to do the same.”

Finally, one doctor wanted to make students feel more at ease before taking the MCATs:

1. “Don’t worry! This is just the single most important test you’ve ever taken in your life. Don’t screw it up, or you can kiss your medical career goodbye.”

We hope this review helped, but if it didn’t…oh well. What do you expect from a free (of anything useful) article? Google “MCATs” yourself, and find out what it’s about. We would’ve done it…but we don’t really care that much about you. Best of luck!


bookmark_borderAudacious Attending Has No Criticism for Student’s Choice of Speciality

Audacious Attending Has No Criticism for Student’s Choice of Speciality

PORTLAND, OR — Third year medical student Zain Mandvi didn’t get what he bargained for when he confessed his dream residency program to his attending.

“She just wished me the best of luck,” said Mandvi, “and asked me to tell her if she could help in any way.”

Mandvi was expecting to be told that it was a subhuman specialty, a huge sacrifice in time, pay, or meaning. But, like other medical students, he was not prepared to encounter a physician with such a brazen disregard for his existential masochism, someone whose own happiness was so shamelessly independent of that of others.

This is not the first time Mandvi found his attending’s behavior concerning, citing instances where she answered his questions instead of hurling them back at him, spoke kindly of patients before meeting them, and even once asked Mandvi to talk about his interests outside of medicine.

“Frankly,” he confessed, “I’ve only arrived at my decision as a result of the constant abuse of all my other preferences by my mentors. If she doesn’t hate my answer, how will I know that I’ve made the wrong choice?”


bookmark_borderPatient Who Won’t Sign Consent Form Feared to Have Read It

Patient Who Won’t Sign Consent Form Feared to Have Read It

The decision by a patient to not sign an informed consent form has left her surgeon petrified that she actually read the form. If true, it would represent the first known time ever that a patient, anywhere in the world, has read one of these forms. And if this woman proves to be a trendsetter and other patients follow suit, it could spell disaster for the entire surgical profession.

“Oh Jesus, what the heck happened?!” said her still shellshocked surgeon. “I keep going over the details of our encounter to figure out where it all went wrong. I remember zooming through the form for her cholecystectomy, loudly emphasizing the benefits of the procedure while whispering the risks in a barely audible tone, just like I always do. I explained the alternative was to not do it, but said it in a derisive tone, as if choosing that would be ludicrous. Then I asked “Any questions?” but gave her a look that clearly indicated she was not to ask any questions. Finally I shoved paper and pen in her face and she was about to sign and then….oh crap!

“And then I got an urgent page from a nurse and briefly—very briefly—stepped out of the room to call her back. When I returned a minute later, the form was laying on the counter, unsigned! I repeatedly encouraged her to sign it, but she just wouldn’t do it and wouldn’t tell me why.”

When the humiliated surgeon presented this case at an urgently and very appropriately called Morbidity & Mortality conference the next day, the consensus opinion was that the woman must have read the whole form. His colleagues did not mince words in their criticism of him. “What a putz!” said one furious colleague. “Everyone knows you can’t let the patient read the form. Leaving the patient alone with the form, even for 1 minute, is simply unforgivable! That’s stuff we learned on day 1 of Surgery internship. My goodness, if this gets out, the surgical profession is doomed! No one who reads the form will ever agree to surgery.”

The M&M attendees all decided to keep this horrible event hush-hush. Their hope is that if this news doesn’t get out, patients will continue to willingly sign forms that routinely list “death” as a possible consequence, no questions asked.


bookmark_borderMultiple Sclerosis (MS) Could be Stopped Within a Decade

multiple sclerosisA progression of logical disclosures have prompted specialists calling 2019 ‘the most noteworthy and exciting time we have ever observed’ in treating the disorder. Researchers state a scope of prescriptions for sufferers of the incapacitating condition will be in late stage preliminaries by as right on time as 2025.

MS is thought to influence 100,000 individuals in the UK, with 14 patients being analyzed each day, MS Society insights appear. Also, in the US, about one million are living with the condition, as indicated by the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.

The disorder, which strikes twice the same number of ladies as men, harms nerves in the body, causing versatility misfortune, sight issues, weariness and torment. There is no fix, with current medications concentrating on facilitating side effects and anticipating deterioration.

This implies as an individual’s condition advances there is nothing to stop them become progressively handicapped.

“In the previous decade we’ve gained noteworthy ground in treating MS, yet there stays an immense neglected need in creating medicines for the dynamic type of the condition. Presently, the global research network has met up and is adjusted on what should be done to stop the condition, and, with a sensational increment in venture, we could really completely change people. MS is constant, difficult, and incapacitating, yet on account of research improving our understanding, we’re presently ready to create methodologies that handle the condition in new and various manners – including myelin regenerative and neuroprotective medicines – with a definitive point of halting MS. This is the most noteworthy and exciting time we have ever found in the treatment of neurological conditions”, Professor Alan Thompson, advisor nervous system specialist and chair at the International Progressive MS Alliance, stated.

Before this year starts, scientists found an approach to recover lost myelin – the greasy sheath encompassing our nerves and is harmed in MS.

In MS, the antibodies attack myelin, leaving nerves incapable to productively send and get messages.

Cambridge University researchers gave rodents the glucose bringing down prescription metformin for a quarter of a year.

They at that point took myelin from a portion of the nerves in the creatures’ cerebrum. Results depicted as ‘fabulous’ demonstrated the rodents’ harmed myelin made a practically complete recuperation following three weeks on metformin.

Another key achievement has been the revelation of medicines which may to shield nerves from harm. This incorporates the utilization of cholesterol-bringing down medications known as statins. They are contemporarily being tried in the greatest ever trial for secondary progressive MS.

The £6million venture, offers any desire for the primary viable treatment for patients with secondary progressive MS – a propelled phase of the ailment which will be financed by the NHS National Institute for Health Research and the MS Society.

In the beginning times, patients regularly experience ‘relapsing remitting MS’, where their condition deteriorates and after that balances out in fits and starts. Around half of those patients create secondary progressive MS inside 15 to 20 years. At this phase there is no eased up in their decay and they continuously lose solid capacity and become progressively handicapped.

Researchers planning to fix the turmoil inside the decade have joined a Stop MS Appeal by the MS Society, which needs to raise £100 million over a multi year time frame to quicken new research.

Professional Anna Williams, a specialist in regenerative nervous system science at the MS Society Center for MS Research at the University of Edinburgh, said the 10-year responsibility was “not to be trifled with”.

“MS is a genuine condition that can influence each part of your life, and the Stop MS Appeal will carry colossal would like to a large number of individuals influenced. For a national philanthropy and experts such as myself to turn out and state we trust it tends to be halted, we should have the option to convey on that guarantee”.

The Stop MS Appeal dispatches freely this week with a significant promoting effort.

The cash raised will pay for new research and MS clinical preliminaries network, which is at present being created by driving clinicians and researchers purchased together by the MS Society.

This preliminary will enable specialists to test numerous potential medications all the while, setting aside time and cash.

Nick Moberly, CEO at the MS Society, stated: “Exploration has got us to a decisive point, and we can see a future where no one needs to stress over MS deteriorating. That implies not living in dread you’ll be dependent on a wheelchair, or one day lose your autonomy completely. The overall MS people group is meeting up to assist us accomplish our aggressive objective to stop MS. However, we have to act now, since individuals with MS can hardly wait”.

The post Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Could be Stopped Within a Decade appeared first on Nursing Crib.


bookmark_borderUsed Capsule Endoscopy Cameras Into Phones??

Used Capsule Endoscopy Cameras Into Phones??

Have you ever taken a whiff of your IPhone’s camera and detected a faint but distinct foul odor? Have you ever noticed a brown haze to your photos? If you have, you’re certainly not alone, and Apple has finally divulged the reason why: The camera in your IPhone once travelled the whole length of a stranger’s digestive tract. That’s right—it was once inside a pill used in a stranger’s capsule endoscopy procedure.

After passing through someone’s entire digestive system, snapping pictures along the way to help diagnose gastrointestinal disorders, the camera pill, or PillCam, is expelled into the toilet and retrieved by either Apple’s CFO (Chief Fecal Officer) or an unsuspecting college student, who at one time was actually thrilled about landing a prestigious internship at Apple.

Apple CEO Tim Cook recently explained this seemingly bizarre practice of installing used endoscopy cameras into their IPhones. “We use PillCams because they’re simply the best designed, most robust and they take amazing pictures,” he said.

“Think about it,” Cook continued. “These cameras have undergone the best quality control tests of any on the market. They function exceptionally well in very harsh environments. Nothing stops these cameras—not the enzymes in your saliva, not the forceful peristaltic waves in your esophagus, not the acidic environment of your stomach, not the digestive enzymes in your small intestine, and not any of the gross stuff in your colon and rectum. Nothing destroys them, and their images are amazing and that’s why we use them.”

Cook understands that germaphobes will be appalled by this news. But he urges them not to worry because “each PillCam camera goes through an extensive sterilization procedure prior to installation.” This process, he explained, consists of the camera being wiped down by a single Clorox wipe for 2 seconds.

These cameras aren’t perfect though. Very rarely, a technician forgets to wipe the memory from the camera before inserting it into an IPhone, and the consequences can be devastating. Recently divorced Mike Orman explained: “My wife was checking something on my phone when all of a sudden these disgusting photos of some woman’s intestine pop up. As my wife scrolled through, the final image was…well, let’s just say the PillCam went rogue at the end and snapped an image of the woman’s genitals as it plunged into the toilet. My wife immediately threw me out of the house!”

Such incidents are thankfully rare. Experts say IPhone users have nothing to worry about when taking a photo except remembering to smile and say “Cut the Cheese.


bookmark_borderMaddy’s BHRT journey

When Maddy began to experience menopausal symptoms around the time she turned 50, she did what many women in her situation do and went to see her GP to explore her options.

In turn, her GP did what many doctors do and advised her to begin conventional hormone replacement therapy – and so, quite understandably when presented with clinical advice from a trained professional, that’s exactly what Maddy did.

Conventional HRT is a synthetic hormone replacement programme – that is to say the hormones that make up the treatment are produced en masse as a generic ‘one size fits all’ solution for all women, rather than being matched to an individual – and Maddy was prescribed HRT that she now describes as “bog-standard oestrogen replacement”.

It didn’t work. The symptoms – insomnia, weight gain, anxiety, mood swings and loss of muscle – all continued, and began to worsen as she aged.

Unwilling to revert to conventional hormone replacement therapy, she began to make changes to her lifestyle. She ate well, got the right amount of rest, went to yoga classes.

Eventually, Maddy’s nutritionist told her she would never regain a normal life without balancing her hormone levels.

Still unwilling to revert to conventional treatment, she began to research other alternatives. She quickly found herself at The Natural Doctor website, reading about our bioidentical hormone replacement therapy – or BHRT – which involves creating a hormone compound that is uniquely identical to that produced naturally by the individual in question.

“I liked the look of what Dr Eccles was doing,” Maddy says. “From what I could see he seemed to be genuinely interested in women’s health, so I made an appointment and went to see him in the summer of 2018. We had a consultation, did some blood tests and started a preliminary treatment to set what I call a ‘baseline’.

“That was modified over the next four months to get the right balance for me personally and I feel really well now.”

The first thing Maddy noticed was her weight reduced. She lost 5 inches from her waistline and, with a background of her own in medicine, knew she was losing internal fat. The hiatus hernia she had been suffering with disappeared.

“One of my menopause symptoms was anxiety,” she says now, “and that was really odd for me because I had never, ever been anxious before. I’d get up dreading the day ahead, whereas before I’d bounce out of bed and look forward to whatever the day held in store.

“Now I feel like that person all over again.”

So, what would she say to anyone who is enduring menopausal symptoms but is reluctant to try bioidentical hormone replacement therapy?

She answers quite simply: “Don’t put up with all the bad feelings. BHRT is totally safe and people should try it for themselves and make up their own minds.

“Quite apart from the physical toll it takes, it’s impossible to underestimate the mental impact of the menopause. And not only do I not worry about things any more or have mood swings, I also feel 20 years younger.

“It’s worked wonders for me, thanks to Dr Eccles.”

The post Maddy’s BHRT journey appeared first on The Natural Doctor.


bookmark_borderLike Lifetime Board Certification, Docs Who Trained Before 1990 Grandfathered Into Old Medical Guidelines

Like Lifetime Board Certification, Docs Who Trained Before 1990 Grandfathered Into Old Medical Guidelines

Taking a page from the medical boards, the medical societies of America, ranging across all specialties, recently announced that doctors who trained before 1990 will be grandfathered into old medical guidelines. This highly controversial policy means that these physicians can practice medicine according to the guidelines that were in place when they were trainees.

“It’s about time!” said Harriett Helmsley, who finished her internal medicine residency in 1979. “I’ve been lobbying for them to let us use old guidelines ever since the medical boards decided to grandfather us into lifetime certifications. New guidelines for everything come out every other day—if we’re not gonna be tested on them, why should we have to learn them?

“Honestly,” she added, “I’m perfectly content diagnosing heart attacks by checking liver enzymes, treating peptic ulcers with Tums, and treating MRSA infections by praying.”

Dr. Henry McIntyre, a 91-year-old physician who trained in the 1950s and still practices today, is so thrilled about this news that he already scheduled lobotomies for his most severely depressed patients. He also says that he plans to dust off his 1st edition of Harrison’s Principles of Internal Medicine and will resume using it in his daily practice.

Surprisingly, patients of these old-time grandfathered doctors seem content with this new rule. “Why would I care if my doc is up-to-date with medical knowledge?” asked Greta Smith, as she was busily boiling a test tube containing her urine and Benedict’s solution. “Every time I pee, I estimate my sugar level this way, just as Dr. McIntyre instructed. But don’t worry, he does the fancy new tests like blood glucose too—last he checked, my fasting sugar was 139, so based on his guidelines, I don’t even have diabetes anymore. Woohoo— Ice cream sundae with all the fixin’s tonight!!”

Some physicians, however, are concerned that the new rules will lead to confusion when pre-1990 and post-1990 trainees interact. Take this recent example of an 80-year-old ER doc and a 29-year-old neurology resident discussing a stroke patient:

The old ER doc says, “I have a guy with suspected apoplexy,” to which the neuro resident responded, “What’s apoplexy?” After finally figuring out it’s an outdated term for stroke, the neurologist asked, “What’d the head CT show? Please order an MRI. Is he a tPA candidate?”. To which the ER doc replied, “What’s a head CT?” and “Order a what now?” and “There’s no treatment for apoplexy!”

But most love the new rules, and although satisfied that she no longer has to take medical board exams nor learn new medical guidelines, Ms. Helmsley said she’s not done lobbying for more perks for the pre-1990 crowd. “Next up,” she said, “is getting us grandfathered into paper medical records!


bookmark_borderA Plant-Based Remedy That Helps Lower Cholesterol

Cholesterol is a waxy substance found in people’s blood and in their cells. It comes in two structures: Low-density lipoprotein (LDL) and High-density lipoprotein (HDL). Low-density lipoprotein (LDL) is the unfortunate sort of cholesterol regularly alluded to as ‘bad’ – significant levels of LDL cholesterol can add to coronary illness. Luckily, creating dietary changes can bring down LDL cholesterol, including taking certain healthy supplements.

Supporting examination recommends taking artichoke leaf concentrate can ensure against LDL cholesterol.

Artichoke concentrate is gotten from thorn, a universal plant. An enormous audit in more than 700 individuals found that enhancing with artichoke leaf extricate day by day for five to thirteen weeks prompted a decrease altogether and “bad” LDL cholesterol.

Furthermore, an animal study revealed a 30 percent decrease in “bad” LDL cholesterol and a 22 percent decrease in triglycerides after standard utilization of artichoke concentrate.

Triglycerides are a kind of fat. Mayo Clinic clarified, “Having an elevated level of triglycerides in your blood can expand your danger of coronary illness”.

Besides, another examination recommends normally expending artichoke concentrate may help “good” HDL cholesterol in grown-ups with elevated cholesterol.

HDL cholesterol enables an individual’s body to remain sound and avoids malady, as Heart UK clarified. “HDL cholesterol’s main responsibility is to divert cholesterol from the cells, back to the liver, where it very well may be separated and expelled from the body”.

Studies propose artichoke concentrate impacts cholesterol in two key manners. To begin with, artichokes contain luteolin, a cell reinforcement which avoids cholesterol arrangement.

Second, artichoke leaf concentrate urges the body to process cholesterol more effectively, prompting lower generally speaking levels.

Different approaches to reduce cholesterol

It is surely known that following a heart-healthy eating routine offers a strong guard against crawling cholesterol levels. Eliminating nourishments high in soaked fat and substitute them with food sources with progressively unsaturated fat can help improve cholesterol levels.

Omega 3 fats – unsaturated fats that lift heart wellbeing and keep “bad” cholesterol in line. As Heart UK clarified, slick fish is the best foundation of Omega 3 fats.

“Mean to eat two parts of fish for each week. Partially one of which ought to be sleek. A part is 140g, yet you could have a few littler bits consistently,” prompted the wellbeing site

Instances of sleek fish includes anchovies, bloater, carp, eel, herring (kippers), mackerel, pilchards, salmon, sardines, sprats, swordfish, trout, whitebait .

Various plant-based nourishments are likewise high in omega 3 fat, for example, verdant green vegetables, nuts and certain oils, for example, flaxseed oil and linseed oil, included the wellbeing body.

The post A Plant-Based Remedy That Helps Lower Cholesterol appeared first on Nursing Crib.


bookmark_borderUPenn Med School Retires Dr. Oz’s White Coat

UPenn Med School Retires Dr. Oz’s White Coat

PHILADELPHIA, PA—In a move that most have hailed as long overdue, the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania (UPenn) finally honored famed alumnus and acclaimed physician Mehmet Oz by retiring his medical student white coat at a well-attended campus ceremony yesterday.

Sources with zero ties to the school tell us that a longstanding tradition at UPenn calls for the graduating class to pass on its white coats to incoming first-year medical students. Over the years, however, UPenn has retired the white coats, never to be worn again, of their most exemplary alumni in recognition of their outstanding work in the advancement of the medical sciences.

Last month, the UPenn Board of Trustees voted unanimously to retire Dr. Oz’s white coat.  “We applaud Mehmet for expanding his medical knowledge beyond what he learned here and using that to educate the public on vitally important topics such as the effects of astrological signs on one’s health, unproven miracle weight loss remedies and the health benefits of communicating with the dead.”

“It’s this kind of outside-the-box thinking,” said board member, Sue Gulbel, “that separates Mehmet from the average UPenn medical graduate, who only practices unimaginative evidence-based medicine.”

At the ceremony yesterday, Dr. Oz’s worthiness of this medical honor was given validity by the presence of many of his esteemed professional colleagues—Oprah Winfrey, Jerry Springer and Rachael Ray, to name a few.

Many rousing speeches were given, but undoubtedly, the highlight of the ceremony was when Dr. Oz led the audience in a seance. “We are a tight-knit family here at UPenn,” said Dr. Oz as he started the seance, “and that’s why I only agreed to accept this honor if the invitation for this event was extended to ALL alumni—past, present and future—including those no longer with us. So let’s all hold hands, close eyes and ask those ‘passed’ alumni to join us.”

Melissa Schubert, a 4th-year medical student and big Dr. Oz fan, indicated that the experience of talking to the dead was life-altering. “All my stress and anxiety from years of medical training—poof! All gone! Thanks, Dr. Oz!”

The ceremony concluded with the raising of Dr. Oz’s white coat to the rafters of the anatomy lab. To show his gratitude, Dr. Oz then gifted the university a blue and red duck, which bore the school colors and which the students have already placed in a campus pond and affectionately named “Ducktor Oz.” Asked to say a few words about its namesake, the duck said, “Quack! Quack!”


bookmark_border18 Questions and Answers About Fainting – Syncope Explained

Syncope is the medical term used to describe the phenomenon of fainting or passing out. Although syncope is common and frequently experienced by healthy people, it is often, quite wrongly indeed, considered a sign of frailty or illness. Indeed, history shows that fainting spells occurring under the attention and scrutiny of the public may have … Read more

The post 18 Questions and Answers About Fainting – Syncope Explained appeared first on


bookmark_borderMiley Cyrus claims “You don’t have to be diabetic anymore” after discovering Coke Zero

Miley Cyrus claims “You don’t have to be diabetic anymore” after discovering Coke Zero

Miley Cyrus is at it again upsetting over 30 million Americans who have diabetes by telling them they don’t need to have high blood sugar after discovering Coke Zero. Coke Zero itself has been extremely controversial, passing itself off as regular Coke taste, without any Sugar. Many consumers, like Cyrus, cannot believe the slight of taste Coke pulls off.

If you’ve just exited your bomb shelter this year you wouldn’t be aware of Cyrus’s rough year. After divorcing actor Liam Hemsworth less than nine months into their marriage, she took off on a sexual fling with Brody Jenner’s ex-wife, Kaitlynn Carter and simultaneously developing devastating diabetes. She finally found Coke Zero and also settled down with model and singer Cody Simpson. Speaking to her 100 million followers on Instagram she told the world you “don’t have to be diabetic anymore!” while chugging a Coke Zero, finishing with a refreshing “achahh.” “There is good Soda out there!” She also stated you don’t have to be lesbian if you find the right guy in a later post.

Cyrus is in the public doghouse. Many public figures and companies are upset. Pepsi, a proud sponsor of hip music, was outraged Coke got to her sooner and upset that Coke tastes better than Pepsi. Wilford Brimley, a staunch diabetus advocate, was irate. “Diabetes is not a choice, it’s something I have to live with every day!”

Cyrus followed up later with an Instagram apology stating she “loves her high blood sugar brothas and sistas!” Her new hit A-1-see will be released this December.


bookmark_borderDystonia (Disturbia)

Dystonia (Disturbia)

What’s wrong with me?

Why am I doing this?

I’m moving crazy now

I wake up in my bed

Can’t even get it started

Clenching tight, so widespread

Can’t even speak about it

Twist my arm, turn my head

Don’t want to think about it

My body’s in so much pain


It’s a thief in the night To come and grab you It can creep up inside you And consume you A disease of the mind It can control you

Posing in discomfort

Your limbs are so tight

From all those muscle contractions

Ain’t gonna move nice

Your movements have a clear pattern

Feels like hard ice

Your resting tone is so altered

So if you must falter, be wise

Your body’s got dystonia

It’s when your muscles can’t relax


You’ve got broken motor tracts

Your body’s got dystonia

Contortion to the max




bookmark_borderBravo! Patient’s Continuous Log of Stool Measures 5-Feet Long!

Bravo! Patient’s Continuous Log of Stool Measures 5-Feet Long!

GREENVILLE, SC – With a swirl of stool in the toilet bowl resembling a generous piece of churro, patient Davis Adderley has just had the longest continuous log of stool in recent memory, measuring exactly 5 feet long! Wow! Way to go, Adderley!

“What can I say, I try to get a lot of fiber in my diet, eating lots of fruits and vegetables, and I always have my cup of joe in the morning,” Adderley told Gomerblog, alongside a conference hall filled with media here to witness the milestone poop. “I’m always regular, and I’ve had some impressive bowel movements, but this… This was my best.”

Both the American College of Gastroenterology (ACG) and the American College of Surgery (ACS) report their entire society of members are in tears, joyful tears over Adderley’s healthy and lengthy stool.

“The large intestine is 5-feet long and we always thought it was theoretically possible to have a 5-foot-long stool,” said general surgeon Samantha Jones. With the patient’s permission, she has posted a picture of the stool stunner on all of her social media accounts. “This must’ve been what the world felt like when we first landed on the moon.”

Smartly, the patient has not flushed the toilet. The ACG and ACS are putting together their finest in order to carefully extract the specimen, and hopefully enshrine it somewhere, most likely the hallowed Surgery Hall of Fame (SHOF). It is unclear yet if it will be an interactive exhibit.

Gomerblog and the rest of the medical media would have asked more questions if Adderley hadn’t floated off into the stratosphere, feeling truly lighter than a feather.


bookmark_borderBronchiolitis Signs, Symptoms and Treatment

Bronchiolitis is a lung disease that usually happens in newborn children during the fall and winter months, inspite of the fact that grown-ups may likewise have it. This contamination, which impact on the lower aviation routes, can be serious and regularly requires treatment.

Specialists regularly analyze bronchiolitis in kids under 2 years old. Specialists gauge that the possibility of having bronchiolitis is 11–15% during a child’s first year of life.


The underlying manifestations of bronchiolitis will in general be like flu, for example,

  • a runny nose
  • a cough
  • fever

At this time, there might be no compelling reason to counsel a specialist; specialists cannot differentiate the regular cold and bronchiolitis.

48 – 72 hours

In bronchiolitis, the virus spreads to the lower aviation routes — including the bronchioles — causing aggravation. A development of liquid can hinder the lower aviation routes.

Thus, following 2–3 days, individuals will regularly see their indications declining altogether. They may experience issues breathing and attempt to repay by breathing harder.

In this situation, individuals for the most part counsel a specialist. When they play out a physical assessment, the specialist will hear popping, wheezing, and shaking sounds in the lungs.


Individuals will give various signs that fluctuate in seriousness. A few babies may just have mellow signs, for example, fast breathing, though others may have extreme signs, for example, blue tinged lips and skin.

Grown-ups may sometimes create bronchiolitis from a viral disease, yet their manifestations are commonly less extreme than those of babies.

Manifestations in a baby can advance to respiratory malfunction, which is perilous and requires prompt hospitalization. A healthy newborn – full term delivery and has a bronchiolitis is very unusual.


The signs of bronchiolitis, in general will keep going for around 7–10 days.


The most widely recognized reason for bronchiolitis is an infection called respiratory syncytial infection (RSV). Newborn children who become contaminated with RSV can create serious indications that require hospitalization. Grown-ups may likewise create RSV contaminations, yet they will infrequently need to remain in the emergency clinic.

Throughout the years, specialists have distinguished different infections that reason bronchiolitis. These include:

  • human rhinovirus, which causes flu
  • coronavirus
  • human metapneumovirus
  • adenovirus
  • parainfluenza

About 30% of newborn children with bronchiolitis may have two infections present in their aviation routes. Specialists don’t routinely test for the kind of infection liable for the contamination.

Hazard factors

A few people, including untimely children conceived before week 32 of pregnancy and babies under 3 months of age, are more in danger of creating extreme signs from bronchiolitis.

Children and little children with the accompanying conditions are likewise at higher hazard:

  • neuromuscular ailments that influence relaxing
  • congenital coronary illness
  • chronic lung ailment
  • immunodeficiency


The kind of treatment will rely upon a few elements, including the age and well being status of the individual and the seriousness of the symptoms.

Supportive care

Specialists oversee bronchiolitis with supportive care, which implies that they watch the individual and treat their symptom as needed. They will ensure that the individual is fully hydrated and may recommend drugs to control fever.

Oxygen treatment

A few people may require oxygen treatment to help reduce breathing complexity.

Intensive consideration

Individuals with bronchiolitis may move toward becoming hypoxic if their breathing challenges are extreme. Hypoxia is a state where the substantial tissues don’t get enough oxygen, and it can harm interior organs.

Individuals with extreme hypoxia can give a somewhat blue shade of the skin. Treatment of hypoxia requires concentrated consideration, in which specialist center around keeping up open aviation routes and expanding the measure of oxygen noticeable all around that the individual relaxes.

Prescriptions for babies

Newborn children with gentle to-direct signs may not require hospitalization. Rather, specialists may suggest:

  • nasal saline remedy for get out the upper aviation routes
  • antipyretic prescriptions, for example, acetaminophen (Tylenol), to control fever
  • a humidifier to build up breathing

Preventive inoculation

A few newborn children may profit by inoculation to help avert bronchiolitis. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests preventive vaccination with palivizumab (Synagis) for in danger newborn children in their first year of life.

Newborn children whom they consider to be in danger include:

  • premature children conceived before the 29th seven day stretch of pregnancy
  • infants with certain sorts of inherent coronary illness
  • infants conceived rashly with constant lung illness

Specialists will oversee up to five dosages of palivizumab to in danger newborn children during the time when network flare-ups of RSV happen. These generally start in November or December and reach out into March or April.

The five dosages will ensure babies for more than 24 weeks. A few babies may get less dosage if the beginning of vaccination is late. When the RSV season closes, vaccination is never again needed.

After the primary year of life, babies are less powerless to serious bronchiolitis.

Newborn children will just require another arrangement of portions in the accompanying season in the event that they were conceived rashly with constant lung ailment and keep on requiring treatment inside a half year of the beginning of the second RSV season.

When to see a specialist

Guardians or parental figures, who notice that a child has symptoms of flu, don’t really need to see a pediatrician right away. While a specialist can assess a child’s wellbeing status, they can’t fix the basic cold and can just offer assistance to ease the symptoms.

Following 2–3 days, if the side effects deteriorate or the infant gives any indications of trouble breathing, it is imperative to take them to see a specialist immediately or to go to the emergency room. Specialists can quickly give supportive care. Early mediation is the key for a speedy recuperation.

Babies who were born in preterm or have certain hidden wellbeing conditions are likewise at higher danger of extreme bronchiolitis from RSV. Specialists should offer preventive vaccination for these newborn children.


Studies demonstrate that among babies, the death rate for bronchiolitis is somewhere in the range of 0.5% and 7%. The wide range in death rate is probably going to be because of hazard factors in certain newborn children and the absence of intensive consideration units in certain nations.

With early conclusion and treatment, individuals with bronchiolitis mainly recuperate with no future results.

In the event that newborn children get the fitting hydration and strong consideration, their signs ought to improve inside 2–3 weeks.

The post Bronchiolitis Signs, Symptoms and Treatment appeared first on Nursing Crib.


bookmark_borderPsychiatry Residents Estimate that 30% of Consults are for Comatose Patients

Psychiatry Residents Estimate that 30% of Consults are for Comatose Patients

Dr. Charles Willis scowls at his beeping pager for interrupting his lunch break. “Christ almighty, I can’t sit down for a couple hours without this damn thing going off,” he grumbles, hauling himself out of the massage chair in the first-floor residents’ lounge. He heads for the cafeteria, hoping to buy himself a coffee and a little time before taking the long way to the medical floor.

As a fourth-year psychiatry resident, he usually gets stuck with the consults from medical or geriatrics, most of which are requested by over-zealous medical students. “Take the one I had last week,” Dr. Willis says, strolling down the halls with his coffee in one hand and smartphone in the other.

“Some dumb M3 writes ‘rule out selective mutism” on the consult sheet. I got a little excited, because, you know, that’s easier to handle than the borderlines that show up in emerg every ten minutes. I go up to geriatrics and lo and behold, the guy’s just deaf, blind, and completely demented. Total waste of time.”

In a practice as old as time itself, every department tries to turf difficult patients to the inpatient psychiatry floor. As Dr. Willis explains it, “If you cry because your congestive heart failure is ruining your quality of life, they want to send you to psych for major depressive disorder. If you refuse too many meds, you’re clearly psychotic or suicidal. All the overweight patients suddenly have binge-eating disorder. The list goes on.”

Arriving at the nursing station on the medical ward, Dr. Willis inquires about the patient in question. “Yeah, I just got him today, so I don’t really know much about him,” says the patient’s nurse. “I’m pretty sure he’s catatonic, though. Anyway, I’m going on break, so maybe come back later if you need to tell me anything.”

Dr. Willis sighs and flips through the patient’s chart before heading into his room. He re-emerges twenty seconds later, scrawls a one-liner on the consult sheet, and makes his way to the elevators. “The guy’s in a medically-induced coma for alcohol poisoning,” he says. “Of course he’s not talking.”

On his way back to the lounge, Dr. Willis notes that a typical Sunday may yield up to three such consults. “They’re really making me work for my money today.”


bookmark_borderUpdated Levels of Evidence for 2019

Updated Levels of Evidence for 2019

Cupertino, CA – The internet and social media particularly are ripe areas for debates about topics from dress colors to whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich. Medicine, like children of idiots, is not immune to this. In an effort to help clarify and settle arguments, we’ve compiled the updated Levels of Evidence for 2019.

This is to be considered the definitive ranking and is usable for all arguments henceforth.

Level 15: Dr. Oz Just above Jenny McCarthy and just behind Doc McStuffins

Level 1: Randomized Controlled Trials/ Meta-analyses of high quality studies

Level 2: Prospective Controlled Trials

Level 3: Cohort Study

Level 4: Case Series

Level 5: Expert Opinion

Level 6: Social media statement posted by a Physician with a real name

Level 7: Social media statement by an anonymous account 

Level 8: Gomerblog Articles

Level 9: Gomerblog Memes

Level 10: Memes without the Gomerblog seal of approval 

Level 11: Anyone who says “Ive done my research” aka did a google search 

Level 12: Anything from anyone named Karen/Kyle/Carol or any “Mom’s group” on Facebook 

Level 13: Doc McStuffins

Level 14: Fortune Cookies

Level 15: Dr. Oz

Level 15: Chiropractic/Naturopathic/“Functional neurologist” websites/social media pages 

Level 16: Jenny McCarthy


bookmark_borderABMS approves new subspecialty: High Maintenance Medicine; Hospital Drama Center designation levels to follow

ABMS approves new subspecialty: High Maintenance Medicine;  Hospital Drama Center designation levels to follow

Chicago, IL- Due to an unprecedented need, the American Board of Medical Specialties (ABMS) fast tracked the approval of High Maintenance Medicine as a new subspecialty. Based in the suburbs of Washington, DC, the newly formed American Academy of High Maintenance Medicine (AAHMM) will champion the care of those who are the most demanding, but not necessarily the most in need of care.

Fellowships will be started in Washington, DC, New York, Los Angeles, and Miami and are open to physicians who are board certified in Plastic Surgery, Gastroenterology, Emergency Medicine, Family Practice, Psychiatry, and Pediatrics. Others may apply based on need.

The AAHMM will also charge ridiculous amounts of money to give hospitals Drama Level designations. Based on several factors, Drama Levels will be given similar to Trauma designations, with Level 1 Drama Center being the highest level available.

There are many requirements to earn a Level 1 Drama Center designation. First, the hospital must have a 4.8 star Yelp rating or higher. A reality TV crew must be in the hospital at all times to be able to catch the drama as it happens, or at least recreate it quickly. Social Media has to be on point through all channels. The patient advocate to patient ratio also needs to be at least 1:3, but preferably 1:1.

Founder and President, Ima Sellout, MD, FAAHMM states that High Maintenance Medicine is a challenging but necessary specialty in these dramatic times. “It takes a special skillset to be able to setup conference calls with Mayo Clinic, Harvard, and Hopkins to discuss treatment options for little Johnny’s sprained ankle.” She added, “but then again, we still have Ativan and Vistaril.”


bookmark_borderDoctor, Patient Miscommunicate: Doc Recommends Mayo Clinic, Patient Unfortunately Hears “Mayo Colonic”

Doctor, Patient Miscommunicate: Doc Recommends Mayo Clinic, Patient Unfortunately Hears “Mayo Colonic”

ROCHESTER, MN—Patients don’t always comprehend what their doctors tell them whether it’s due to language barriers, hearing difficulties or the use of complex medical jargon by the doctor. Sometimes these miscommunications are harmless, sometimes they are fatal and other times, as in the case of Michael Mustard, they can lead to embarrassing results.

Last week, his doctor, Chandler Chutney, made what he thought was a clear recommendation to go to the Mayo Clinic; Mr. Mustard, however, heard a recommendation for a mayo colonic.

Mr. Mustard, who has long been under the care of Dr. Chutney for a mysterious digestive disease that has been resistant to all therapies, had a recent follow-up appointment. There, Dr. Chutney explained that he had nothing else to offer him, and in his thick Indian accent, said, “I recommend Mayo Clinic,” as in perhaps a specialist at the famed medical institution could figure out how to help Mr. Mustard. But Mr. Mustard heard “I recommend mayo colonic,” and to him, after trying out so many other therapies, a colonic, or colon cleanse, seemed a reasonable option for his digestive issues.

“See how easy it is for a doctor-patient miscommunication to happen,” said Mustard. “Yes, I thought it was weird that he wanted me to use a creamy condiment like mayonnaise as the cleanser, but who am I to question the expertise of my doctor?”

The patient went on to describe his mayo colonic experience: “Well, I took a tube, inserted it into my rectum and then I infused my colon with gallons and gallons of creamy, fatty mayo. There was so much fat in my colon that my poop basically became unsinkable—no matter how many times I flushed, it just wouldn’t go down. Crazy mayo colonic! It was hell, man!”

“The funny thing is,” said Mustard, “is that it actually worked! Maybe its fatty contents helped me digest fat-soluble stuff better. Who knows? But I’ve actually started to feel better since I started the mayo colonics, which I now do twice daily. I think I’ve bought every mayo tub from every Costco and Sam’s Club in Minnesota. Those stores just can’t keep up with me.”

When this stunned reporter reminded Mr. Mustard that just a few moments prior, he described the mayo colonic as “it was hell, man,” Mustard laughed and said, “See, I told you it’s so easy to miscommunicate. I said ‘it was Hellmann’s’, as in the brand of mayo I used.


bookmark_borderHow Robert got his hair back

Robert was just 32 when he noticed his hair had begun to thin around the hairline and the top of his head.

Although he considered himself young to be experiencing receding hair, it wasn’t a total surprise either, since some of his friends had begun to experience the same problem.

But while they had elected to have transplant surgery – which turned out not to be successful – that was a path he was reluctant to go down, and instead he began to look for a more natural, less invasive solution.

It wasn’t long afterward that another friend noticed the problem and recommended The Natural Doctor’s BioGroHair® treatment.

Robert wasn’t looking for a remedy that promised the world. In fact, he says now that he would have been happy to have found a treatment that simply stopped his hair loss from becoming worse.

What BioGroHair® gave him instead was a reversal – his hair started to regrow.

“I began to see clear results of the BioGroHair® treatment within a month of starting it,” he says, “and that really motivated me to keep going.”

Such has been the effect of his treatment that he has also persuaded others facing similar hair loss problems to begin using it.

Robert said: “I started off with the intensive programme – a daily routine of two pills and massaging the gel compound into my scalp both morning and evening. I followed the instructions by the letter and that routine lasted three months, but which time there had been very clear, visible benefits.”

After three months, Robert transferred to the maintenance programme which he continues today and which involves taking medication and using the gel every other day, and the treatment has had more than the desired effect.

“I’ve had the results I wanted without need for surgery and the pain that brings, with no side effects and with no issues. Yes, it requires a commitment of time to follow the instructions, but once it’s part of your daily routine, it just becomes a part of normal life.”

He says his only regret is that there isn’t more awareness of the treatment.

“When you think of the people who are going to quite radical lengths and taking risks with their health to try to deal with the problem of hair loss, it’s really sad that the majority of people don’t know this is an option for them,” says Robert. “I have no hesitation at all in recommending BioGroHair® – it’s worked wonders for me.”

If you’d like to find out about our BioGroHair® treatment or book a consultation with Dr Eccles to discuss the treatment and its benefits, please get in touch for an confidential conversation.

The post How Robert got his hair back appeared first on The Natural Doctor.


bookmark_borderMythbusting Bioidentical Hormone Replacement Therapy

A few weeks ago, a story appeared in a national newspaper about a woman who stopped using conventional hormone replacement therapy (HRT) after becoming concerned about the amount of weight she was gaining and a worrying rise in her blood pressure.

Denise Harding, who’s 57, endured what she described as years of ‘excruciating’ symptoms after going through early menopause following a hysterectomy 25 years ago and finally stopped her synthetic HRT treatment in favour of bioidentical hormone replacement therapy (BHRT).

What’s interesting about the article isn’t the fact that she finally abandoned a treatment routinely prescribed by thousands of GPs up and down the country – a great many women have taken exactly the same decision amid fears about its effects on their health or because it simply hasn’t worked for them.

Nor is it the fact she decided, instead, to take BHRT, a plant-based compound that replicates the hormones produced naturally by the body – a great many women, when presented with the facts about menopause, have taken that decision, too.

One curious aspect of the coverage was that the Daily Mail chose to run the story at all.

Although Denise had undergone and obviously torrid time over many years with symptoms that included night sweats, incontinence, ballooning weight, escalating blood pressure and severe loss of confidence, hers is not an unfamiliar case – at The Natural Doctor we’ve seen and treated many women with similar stories.

As a medical case, then, a woman who elects to swap HRT for BHRT is no more remarkable than someone who decides to stop having physiotherapy in favour of acupuncture. In other words, hardly the stuff of national headlines.

Even more interesting, for me at least, is a single word the Daily Mail chose to include in the headline that ran above the story:

Menopausal mother who ditched HRT after it made her gain weight claims using a controversial plant-based hormone has been ‘life-changing’

There is actually very little controversy around the use of BHRT outside of the clinical medical community and Big Pharma, and no evidence to support many of the myths that continue to circulate online and in the media around treatment

In my last blog I explored the resistance that still exists around the use of BHRT and how there is no fact-based evidence that exists to support much of the criticism the treatment attracts.

Yet the fact major news outlets like the Mail continue to repeat a view of a natural health treatment that is disingenuous at best and wholly inaccurate at worst possibly explains why so many women aren’t aware that there is another option beyond conventional HRT that exists for them to escape the misery of their symptoms.

BHRT uses compounds that have precisely the same chemical and molecular structure as the key hormones naturally found in the body, making it the treatment that most closely matches the body’s own hormonal profile.

Additionally, BHRT often includes other hormones – apart from oestrogen and progesterone – that play a positive and important role in wellness among women and delivers benefits that exceed those that synthetic HRT can give.

Because BHRT includes more hormones, all of which use natural ingredients to replicate those produced by the body, it’s more effective in successfully treating a wider range of common symptoms – which means a more comfortable journey through the biological changes women experience.

When the media uses pejorative terms like controversial in talking about a treatment that has no clinical evidence to prove it is anything other than effective for a great many women, it does everyone a disservice because it removes choice.

At present, women in later life who struggle with the menopause have a binary choice: either to take a treatment that may not work for them and/or about which they may have serious reservations; or to refuse any treatment and simply ride out the misery for as long as it takes – which can often be years. And that’s no kind of choice at all.

BHRT, which is created primarily from plant extracts, presents a third option which can offer all the benefits – and more – that conventional HRT promises, with none of the health concerns that many women say make them disinclined to take treatment.

In fact, the case for BHRT has been suppressed to such an extent by an establishment that has a clear and invested financial interest in synthetic HRT that even the GP community is worryingly uninformed about it.

Those doctors that are aware of the potential benefits BHRT can give to their patients that generally ethically inclined to make sure their patients at least understand the option exists, even if they don’t quite go the extra step and prescribe it.

Denise Harding’s story is actually a wonderful advert for all the advantages I’ve outlined in this article. It’s the story of a woman who had been a prisoner of a health system that doggedly promotes a single solution to a problem where alternative solutions exist, but who then found a life-changing answer that has given her normality.

By choosing to talk of controversy rather than success, the media simply gives doctors more reasons to ignore the opportunity BHRT offers and raises an element of doubt in the minds of women where none should exist.

The post Mythbusting Bioidentical Hormone Replacement Therapy appeared first on The Natural Doctor.


bookmark_borderThe Definitive Bone Rankings

The Definitive Bone Rankings

Globogym Headquarters, CA– It’s interview season for 4th year Medical Students applying for residencies and every area of medicine has a beloved question that every applicant is asked without fail. Each question has a preferred answer that if chosen virtually guarantees an applicant getting matched. 

Internal medicine makes all applicants pick a favorite electrolyte (bicarbonate is the correct answer).

What is your favorite bone, pick only one, choose wisely!

Derm makes all applicants pick a favorite type of lesion (macular is the top choice).

ER makes all applicants pick a favorite consultant (inpatient psych).

Naturally in Ortho interviews following the bench press competition, applicants are asked to pick their favorite bone. To help the 13,000 MS4’s applying for ortho each year, I’ve created the definitive ranking of bones. 

  1. Femur: biggest, strongest and joint replacements happen at both ends. The best bone but also the most popular. 
  2. Tibia: great bone to nail, carries a lot of weight, often an open fracture when it breaks. 
  3. Humerus: Just because it is #1 in the AO classification system doesn’t give it a free pass to the top of this list. It lives under but not actually attached to the biceps. Without the humerus, the biceps is nothing. Without the biceps, orthopods are nothing. 
  4. Pelvis: home of the greatest joys and greatest tragedies of the human condition. Also the anchor for hip replacements. 
  5. Calcaneus: calcaneus is Greek for “hard bone used for kicking walls.” That may not be true but it’s a hard bone. Bitch to fix. 
  6. Radius: the biceps inserts on the radius. That alone is good enough for top 5.
  7. Ulna: close to the radius, used to deflect nightsticks and for holding up shields. 
  8. Fibula: very underrated bone. Often stolen by ignorant oral surgeons who don’t appreciate the 15% of the body weight that the fibula bears. Crucial in ankle stability. 
  9. Scapula: home of both origins of the biceps as well as 15 other muscular attachments. If you pick the scapula be able to name at least 8 of them. 
  10. Clavicle: kind of a weak bone but it’s the only bony connection between the axillary skeleton and the arm. Plus it looks cool when it’s broken. 
  11. Talus: the famed astralgus of the aviators. Bizarre blood flow like the scaphoid but slightly more reasonable size. 
  12. Hamate: it has a hook. 
  13. Navicular: neighbor of the talus and cuneiforms. Beware Kohler’s disease in the young. 
  14. Lumbar vertebrae: 5 of them usually, strong, supportive but hard to tell them apart. Kind of like offensive linemen. 
  15. Skull: we’re ortho. There are many bones including the ear dinky bones but above C1 it’s all functionally the same. 
  16. Cuneiforms: kinda funny looking. 3 of them all named for where they are relative to each other, no one likes to go there. Kind of like the Dakotas if there was a middle Dakota. 
  17. Phalanges: all of them whether fingers or toes. There are a lot of them and they’re all essentially the same. Sometimes hand weenies move a toe to the hand. That’s weird. Don’t bring that up. 
  18. Baculum: humans don’t have them but would be cool if we did. 
  19. Cervical vertebrae: move a lot, small, hard to tell apart. Basically late 90’s boy bands in bone form. 
  20. Ribs: protect the Ancef pump and the bone aerator. Ribs have climbed the rankings since we started plating them sometimes. 
  21. Thoracic vertebrae: need ribs to help support them. 
  22. Metacarpals: broken by people who don’t know how to throw a punch. High correlation between metacarpal fractures and being an idiot with a short temper. 
  23. Patella: floats in a sea of tendon. Can be a pain in the ass to fix when broken. Provides a mechanical advantage to the quads. 
  24. Sacrum/coccyx: bottom of the spinal cord, the nerves that control pooping, peeing and pitching a tent exit from the sacrum. 
  25. Metatarsals: hold toes out away from the ankles. Broken by dancers and joneses but 95% of “Jones fractures” aren’t really Jones Fractures. Only the zone 2s are. 
  26. Lunate, capitate, triquetrum, trapezoid, trapezium: random ass wrist bones that only hand surgeons care about unless there’s a problem. 
  27. Pisiform: basically a patella of the collar wrist. Lives in the Flexi carpi ulnaris tendon. Go ahead and break it. No one cares. 
  28. Random other sesamoids, os, etc: not even real bones. Basically flecks of real bones. 
  29. Scaphoid: the bone of the devil. Retrograde blood flow. Like retrograde ejaculation it’s annoying. Hard as hell to get to heal. Shaped like a twisted peanut. Bone of the god damn devil. 
  30. Any other bones: if it ain’t important enough to be listed here, it doesn’t matter. Sorry sternum. 


bookmark_borderJesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO

Jesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO

Mr. Jacobs’ primary team was thrilled when their hospital operator was finally able to get through to Jesus Christ regarding the miracle they were hoping to have performed on Friday. The patient was in desperate need of this miracle if he was ever going to survive the hospital stay.

The intern on the medicine team, Dr. Evans, lifted heaven and earth, and had to beg multiple angels in order to secure the miracle. The attending even intervened on the patient’s behalf because of how busy His schedule is.

The primary team emphasised the importance of this miracle to Mr. Jacobs, explaining that if it could not be done Friday, it would likely have to be delayed through the weekend as Jesus is only on call for emergent miracles during that time. Dr. Evans ordered the pre-miracle labs and let Mr. Jacob’s nurse know that the patient would have to remain NPO after midnight as the miracle would likely be done some time in the early afternoon.

Unfortunately, upon hearing that he would have to remain NPO in the morning, prior to the miracle, Mr. Jacobs was furious. He did not care how important the miracle was for his health, claiming that if he did not have breakfast by 10 am, he would die anyway.

He threatened to leave against medical advice twice, his family berated the nursing administer for three continuous hours, and the patient eventually required haldol for both his safety and the safety of the staff caring for him.

Jesus ended up cancelling the miracle when one of his angels found a half eaten breakfast sandwich from McDonalds at Mr. Jacobs’ bedside on Friday morning.


bookmark_borderInflammation: Maybe the Main Driver of Autism

Another examination proposes that inflammation might be fundamental driver behind chemical imbalance – autism.

Specialists contrasted the minds of eight kids with developmental disabilities and eight kids without it.

They found the pieces of the mentally unbalanced kids’ minds that are critical to working memory and consideration – areas that are impeded in individuals who have chemical imbalance – had bizarrely elevated levels of a particle known to trigger inflammation.

The discovery proposes that medications that target calming proteins would be a viable treatment for chemical imbalance, says by the team, driven by Tufts University School of Medicine in Boston, Massachusetts.

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a formative issue in which sufferers experience considerable difficulties conveying and with conduct.

It envelops a few conditions – including autism, Asperger’s disorder and childhood disintegrative issue – and indications can extend from mild to severe.

Youngsters are generally analyzed by age two after they show signs, for example, decreased eye to eye connection, not reacting to their name and performing redundant developments.

As indicated by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, around one out of 59 youngsters has ASD.

Young men are substantially more likely – up to multiple times – to have the condition than young ladies.

For the investigation, distributed in the diary Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, the group took a gander at the cerebrums of 16 male Caucasian kids who had passed on.

Eight of the kids had ASD and eight didn’t, and they all extended somewhere in the range of three and 14 years of age.

Results demonstrated that the cerebrums of kids with ASD had expanded quantities of a protein called Interleukin-18 (IL-18).

This especially happened in the amygdala, the piece of the cerebrum that is liable for distinguishing dread, and the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, which is engaged with subjective abilities that incorporate working memory, consideration and assessing rewards.

IL-18 is known to realize genuine fiery reactions, which proposes it might assume a job in some provocative maladies, especially of the skin, for example, psoriasis.

Scientists additionally discovered expanded numbers – yet not the same number of – of IL-37, which is an inflammatory protein.

They presume that medications that target IL-37 could be a remedial treatment and lessening the measure of IL-18 in the cerebrum.

The author wrote: “ASD doesn’t have an unmistakable pathogenesis or powerful treatment. Expanding proof supports the nearness of insusceptible brokenness and irritation in the cerebrums of kids with ASD. These discoveries feature the significant role…of IL-37 in the hindrance of irritation, therefore supporting the advancement of IL37 as a treatment for ASD”.


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bookmark_borderVegan Patient Diagnosed With Organic Brain Disease

Vegan Patient Diagnosed With Organic Brain Disease

Within hours of being rushed to the J. Hoffa Memorial Hospital, 19-year-old Nevaeh Roy-Abraham was diagnosed with organic brain disease. The Gender Studies major had been acting erratically for the past few days, friends divulged, and was found unresponsive in her bed by her roommate earlier today.

“Nev’s been pushing herself really hard lately,” reported classmate Taylum Bartleby, who helped the patient organize a food drive for impoverished vegan students only last week. “When she’s not studying, she spends most of her free time organizing rallies and fundraising for PETA. Add to that the fact that she went gluten and sugar-free earlier this year, and you’ve got a recipe for burnout.”

Roommate Claire-Beth McDonald agrees. “I’ve been selling her essential oils at a discount in an effort to get her to slow down and relax a bit, but they were unopened on her nightstand when I found her this morning.”

Doctors at the hospital’s emergency department initially mistook Ms. Roy-Abraham’s unresponsive state for hypoglycemia, hyponatremia, and anorexia. IV fluids boosted her Glasgow Coma Scale score from 3 to 8, at which point she began babbling incoherently about using raw foods to combat the gender wage gap. Consulting neurology was the only option left.

“I’ve only seen one or two other cases like this in the past ten years,” says Dr. Joyce Lai, the neurologist on call at the time of Ms. Roy-Abraham’s presentation. “We admitted her immediately and started IV Mannitol to control her rising intracranial pressure, and one of the residents placed an NG tube for refeeding with pure animal protein. We’ve placed her in 4-point restraints in anticipation of her return to consciousness.” When asked to give the prognosis of organic brain disease, Dr. Lai deferred, stating that Ms. Roy-Abraham would be transferred to psychiatry once her neurologic symptoms resolved.


bookmark_borderNurse Wins Postnomial Abbreviation Pokémon, Catches ‘em All!

Nurse Wins Postnomial Abbreviation Pokémon, Catches ‘em All!

El Cajon, CA– When Denise Spense RN, BSN, MSN, FNP, DNP, MHNP, PNP, BLS, ACLS, PALS, ATLS, OCCN, CCRN, MBA, MPH, MHA, LPN, CRNA, GED, BFD, JK, LOL was a freshman in college she started taking nursing classes. She was amazed to see one of the lecturers had 7 postnomial abbreviations, “I was in complete awe at how many letter groupings followed her last name. I knew that day, that my lifelong goal was to get all the letters!”

After completing her nursing training, she became Denise Spense RN, BSN, GED. She then obtained BLS, ACLS, and PALS qualifications during her 3 weeks of clinical work before enrolling in a FNP program. 

doctorate of nursing
“I realized that completing my inking Nurse Practitioner training gave me a DNP, FNP, PNP, MHNP, BFD and a MHA. That was the most successful 18 months of my abbreviation hunting career.”

“At that point, I noticed my nephew playing Pokémon go incessantly saying ‘Gotta catch ‘em all!’ It was in that moment that I achieved total consciousness of my life’s purpose,” Spense recalled. “Every waking moment until after that time was spent pursuing more letter groups.”

“I realized that completing my Nurse Practitioner training gave me a DNP, FNP, PNP, MHNP, BFD and a MHA. That was the most successful 18 months of my abbreviation hunting career.”

Now that she has crossed the 20 abbreviation threshold nurse Doctor Spense is pondering her next move, “I guess I’ll have to go do some actual patient care. I always feared it would come to this. I figure a good 8-9 months of this and The Joint Commission will hire me. That’s the dream anyway!”


bookmark_borderABIM Institutes Disneyland Inspired FastPass Option for MOC

ABIM Institutes Disneyland Inspired FastPass Option for MOC

Responding to complaints about its ever increasing requirements for recertification, the ABIM has introduced an alternative offering, FastPass. For only an extra $5000 (with “nominal” yearly increases), candidates receive a variety of benefits, including:

1. Reduction in required MOC points from 100 to 5. Allowable MOC activities have been broadened to include, for example, TV medical shows; one hour’s viewing of “Gray’s Anatomy” will award 1 MOC point. “It’s amazing”, stated Dr. Beau Tochs. “I binge watched a whole season of ‘Botched’ and was done with my MOC requirement!”

2. An abbreviated exam, consisting of 10 questions that can easily be answered in 15 minutes. Dr. Sue Mee was thrilled: “The test was a breeze. I paid $3000 (they told me the extra $1000 was for administrative fees). One of the questions was ‘What is a patient with no heartbeat, breathing, or brain activity called’ and I correctly answered: ‘dead’. Piece of cake!”

3. Unlimited number of subspecialty certifications. “In an evening I became quintuple board certified!”, exclaimed Dr. Mo Money. “It was definitely worth the extra 25 grand!”

4. Customized exam with age appropriate questions: Dr. Rhett Eire, an 80 year old Internist, was especially gratified to see questions on his test related to the use of chloral hydrate for sleep and ID questions that listed only 2 antibiotic choices.

The ABIM will soon be adding an even more exclusive program: The Very Important Physician (VIP) Pass. Board spokesperson Dee Plorable explained, “For $10000 per year, not much more than most folks’ yearly Starbucks tab, we will simply certify that you’re good to go. No questions asked!”.

Surgical boards are considering similar programs, at double the price. Stay tuned.


bookmark_borderDentistas en Durham, NC – Dentistas en Durham que Hablen Español

El artículo que encontrarás a continuación ha sido diseñado para poder ayudarte en la búsqueda de un dentista de emergencia en Durham sin tener que perder tiempo tratando de encontrar a un profesional que te pueda atender tu emergencia dental.

Clínicas Dentales 24 horas en Durham, NC

Si necesitas a un dentista de emergencia que hable español en Durham, no esperes más y dale un vistazo a esta guía y asi poder recibir atención dental lo más pronto posible. No dejes pasar tiempo si tienes síntomas de una emergencia bucal, te recomendamos que tomes tu teléfono y le comuniques tu problema a un profesional del ámbito dental inmediatamente.

Alicia Ramos, DDS

Dirección: 1515 West NC Highway 54, Suite 260, Durham, NC 27707
Teléfono: (919) 493-5714
Sitio web:
Doctores: Dra. Alicia Ramos
Descripción: El consultorio de la Dra. Ramos ofrece servicios odontológicos tanto generales y preventivos como cosméticos y de restauración. Para la comodidad de sus pacientes, esta clínica brinda la opción de poner música relajante de fondo, audifonos, reposos bucales, gas nitroso y herramientas que emiten poco ruido. Aceptan varios seguros dentales y proporcionan financiamiento (sujeto a aprobacion de credito) para aquellos tratamientos costosos.

  • Lunes 9:00 am – 4:30 pm
  • Martes 9:00 am – 4:30 pm
  • Miércoles 8:30 am – 1:30 pm (cerrado cada 15 dias)
  • Jueves 9:00 am – 5:00 pm
  • Viernes 8:30 am – 1:30 pm (cerrado cada 15 dias)

Cómo llegar

Durham DDS

Dirección: 3811 N. Roxboro St., Suite D, Durham, NC 27704
Teléfono: (919) 286-0779
Sitio web:
Doctores: Dr. Bill Argenrsinger
Descripción: Esta clínica proporciona servicios tanto para adultos como para niños, empezando por limpiezas preventivas, radiografías y evaluaciones. Pero la variedad de los servicios se extiende hasta endodoncias, implantes, extracciones, ortodoncia y tratamiento periodontal. Para emergencias, este consultorio trata de recibir a los pacientes que lo necesiten el mismo día. En su página Web, este dentista cuenta con una sección informativa para sus pacientes donde se pueden descargar diferentes artículos relacionados con diferentes temas dentales, esto permite conocer más a fondo el estado de nuestra salud dental y como poder mantenerla.

  • Lunes 8:00 am – 4:30 pm
  • Martes 8:00 am – 4:30 pm
  • Miércoles 8:00 am – 4:30 pm
  • Jueves 7:00 am – 4:30 pm
  • Viernes, Sábado y Domingo cerrado

Cómo llegar

Croasdaile Dental Arts

Dirección: 2900 Croasdaile Dr, Suite 5, Durham, NC 27705
Teléfono: (919) 383-7402
Sitio web:
Doctores: Dr. William Turner, Dr. Jason Butler, Dra. Virginia Mayo
Descripción: El amplia gama de servicios ofrecida por este consultorio dental permite que los pacientes puedan recibir tratamientos de todo tipo en el mismo lugar: rehabilitación bucal, cirugía dental, odontología pediátrica, puentes, endodoncias, limpiezas, tratamientos para la apnea del sueño, y odontología cosmética, entre otros. Desde su página web es posible solicitar una cita, descargar los formatos necesarios para pacientes nuevos e incluso se pueden hacer pagos por los servicios dentales recibidos.

  • Lunes a Jueves 8:30 am – 5:00 pm
  • Viernes 8:30 am – 12:30 pm
  • Sábado y Domingo cerrado

Cómo llegar

¿Tienes una emergencia dental en Durham, NC?

Ya sea que esta sea tu ciudad, o te encuentres de visita, las emergencias no avisan y cuando menos lo esperamos ese diente roto antes de tu boda, o un dolor de muelas durante unas vacaciones pueden hacer de las suyas y la manera adecuada de solucionar estos problemas es encontrando a un dentista de 24 horas en Durham.

En sabemos lo importante que es poder ubicar a un profesional dental de manera rápida y efectiva, por lo que hemos publicado este artículo precisamente para reducir tu tiempo de búsqueda y ayudarte a que tu malestar dental sea atendido lo más pronto posible.

Muchas veces el dolor o la inflamación son señales de problemas más profundos, así que no ignores tus síntomas, llama a un dentista de emergencia en Durham pronto para que recibas el diagnóstico y tratamiento adecuados.

Asistencia dental de emergencia en Durham, NC

Si ya lograste contactar al consultorio dental que podrá proporcionarte el servicio dental de emergencia que necesitas, te recomendamos que visites su página web y, si es posible, descarga cualquier formato que sea necesario llenar, para así llegar a tu cita preparado y evitar retrasos haciendo trámites administrativos. También, si tienes algún seguro o plan dental, no olvides llevarlo contigo. Por otro lado, si no cuentas con este tipo de cobertura, pregunta si la clínica ofrece algún plan de financiamiento para aquellos tratamientos de costo elevado o si existe algún descuento para pagos con tarjeta de crédito, débito y/o efectivo.

Si tienes alguna condición médica o estas tomando medicamentos, comunícalo al equipo dental antes de tu evaluación y tratamiento, así como si tienes alergias a ciertas medicinas u otros productos, como el látex.

No tengas miedo de hacer todas las preguntas que tengas acerca de tu diagnóstico o del tratamiento sugerido por el dentista, es importante estar bien informado acerca de tu salud y cualquier procedimiento relacionado con esta.

Esperamos que esta información te sea de utilidad ¡y que pronto estés totalmente recuperado de tu malestar dental!


bookmark_borderDiabetics: Say No More To Injections

Lots of patients living with diabetes could eventually be saved from infusing themselves with insulin.

For Massachusetts Institute of Technology specialists have now made a soluble pill sufficiently able to endure stomach corrosive. Experiments to give patients insulin in pill structure is unsuccessful because they break or fall apart into small fragments in the corrosive and discharge the hormone too soon.

In any case, researchers have made a 1.18-inch (30mm) capsule intense enough to adapt to the cruel condition, as indicated by test on pigs.

Foundations have today commended the examination, calling it ‘exciting’ and saying it could ‘be a genuine advantage for millions’.

The capsule escapes safe through the stomach related gastrointestinal tract, which involves the throat, stomach and liver. It possibly discharges the insulin when it arrives at the small digestive tract, which is the perfect point for medication retention due to the organ’s enormous 250m surface region and absence of torment receptors. The defensive layer – made of poly (meth acrylic corrosive co-ethyl acrylate) intended to disintegrate at a pH more prominent than 5.5 – will at that point split away and the container will unfurl into a triangle shape with three arms. Each arm is covered with a 1mm-long needles, which hook on to the intestinal divider and siphon the medication straight forwardly into the circulation system to start the way toward bringing down glucose levels. The whole plan will later on break up inside a few hours.

“We are truly satisfied with the most recent after effects of the new oral conveyance aid”, Professor Robert Langer, senior creator of the paper, from MIT stated.

He included the examination group ‘anticipate ideally observing it help individuals with diabetes and others later on’.

Trial of the pill on pigs indicated it discharges a practically identical measure of insulin to that of an infusion.

Patients who endure with type 1 diabetes don’t normally deliver enough insulin from their pancreas to cut down their degree of glucose.

Henceforth, they need day by day dosages of the hormone to balance this measure of glucose.

Insulin isn’t commonly endorsed for patients of type 2 diabetes – which is connected with stoutness – because their bodies can normally create the hormone.

The paper was distributed in the Diary Nature Medicine. The scientists will currently look to test the pill on people.

Co-creator Giovanni Traverso, an associate teacher at MIT, said the motivation behind the collaboration was to relieve diabetes patients of the dissatisfaction of pushing a needle inside them consistently.

Capsules have consistently been disregarded in light of the fact that they can’t endure the voyage through the stomach, which stores fluid with a pH of 1.5 to 3.5. This implies it breaks separated in the stomach and discharges its insulin load at an inappropriate point. By contrast, the group’s defensive capsule will break separated when it arrives at the small digestive tracts higher pH level of around 6.

The three arms have been structured so they are tough enough to embed the micro needles yet at the same time ready to break up inside a few hours.

The group, who were sponsored by Danish pharmaceutical mammoth Novo Nordisk, would like to extend the medication to convey different hormones and proteins.

“We can convey insulin; however we see applications for some different therapeutics and potentially antibodies. We’re working intimately with our associates to distinguish the following stages and applications where we can have the best effect”, Collaborator educator Traverso stated.

Around eight percent of the UK’s 4 million diabetes patients experience the ill effects of Type 1.

While Type 2 diabetes is brought about by an undesirable way of life, it is as yet hazy what triggers Type 1 as 85 percent of individuals analyzed have no family ancestry of the condition.

“Finding a way that would enable individuals with diabetes to take insulin orally could be a genuine advantage for millions, so it’s exciting to see experimentation into here pushing ahead. In any case, this specific research is at a beginning period, and we don’t yet have a clue how this gadget would be useful, sheltered and powerful for individuals with diabetes”, Dr Faye Riley, research communications officer at Diabetes UK, said.

Furthermore, Karen Addington, UK CEO of the type 1 diabetes philanthropy JDRF, declared: ‘Grown-ups and kids determined to have type 1 diabetes must take insulin consistently, essentially to remain alive. Having the option to take this insulin orally, as opposed to by means of infusions or a siphon, could make life fundamentally simpler. We anticipate the following phases of this specific research with enthusiasm’.


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bookmark_borderBleeding Risk Scores Replaced By Simply Asking Patient ‘Are You Gonna Bleed?’

Bleeding Risk Scores Replaced By Simply Asking Patient ‘Are You Gonna Bleed?’

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Bleeding risk is a real concern among patients that might be candidates for anticoagulation. Should we rely on bleeding risk scores like HAS-BLED or clinical judgment? New guidelines answer that question. The American Association of Blood Loss (AABL) says to replace bleeding risk scores by simply asking the patient “Are you gonna bleed?”

Patients tend to know their bodies better than even the best of clinicians so why not put on the onus on the patient?

“HAS-BLED is a good bleeding risk score, but I’ll admit, once I get past the H for hypertension, I never know what the rest of the mnemonic stands for,” explained hospitalist Elvin Fitzpatrick. “This makes it much easier. I ask the patient, I document their answer in the chart, and it’s over and done with.”

There are many factors that can affect bleeding risk, some of which are related to the anticoagulant of choice, the others are related to the patient and his or her individual characteristics. But one overlooked factor: mood.

“If my doctor simply asked me if I would bleed on warfarin, I would have told him ‘Absolutely, I just know it,’” explained one patient, Amy Capone, who developed hematochezia shortly after starting warfarin for atrial fibrillation. “It seemed to catch all the medical professionals by surprise, but I wasn’t. I knew.”

Though the guidelines aren’t official on this, the AABL does recommend asking as a second question, “Are you gonna fall?” An answer of “Hell yes” should raise a red flag.


bookmark_borderIDSA Recommends Washing Hands Before & After Washing Hands

IDSA Recommends Washing Hands Before & After Washing Hands

ARLINGTON, VA – Citing it as the best intervention to prevent the spread of infections in the health care setting, the Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA) recommends health care professionals wash their hands before & after washing their hands.

“Studies have shown that hand washing dramatically reduces the transmission of microorganisms,” explained infectious diseases physician Dr. Leanne Burton, who is wearing a contact precautions gown and latex gloves on her day off. “However, there are two critical periods – one before our hands are washed and one after they are washed – where our hands are susceptible to viruses, bacteria, and fungi. This is what the IDSA recommendations are targeting. It makes complete sense.”

By washing our hands before and after washing our hands, the risk of spreading infections could theoretically drop to 0% since health care professionals will be too busy washing their hands to interact with patients and objects, the two major fomites in health care.

The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) supports the recommendation, as well as the goal of quadrupling the number of sinks available to health care professionals within the next 6 months.

“Maybe that’s what the IDSA wants us to achieve, to eliminate the transmission of bugs by eliminating the interaction of people,” explained hospitalist Dr. Taylor Jennings, who has been washing her hands for the past 39 hours. “It’s next-level thinking. I haven’t seen a single patient all day, and I bet not a single one will have caught an infection from me.”


bookmark_borderMan Takes Care of Vinyl Records Better Than Himself

Man Takes Care of Vinyl Records Better Than Himself

AUSTIN, TX – A 33-and-a-half-year-old Austin man has been observed to and openly admits to taking care of his vinyl records better than himself, Gomerblog reports.

“These are my prized possessions,” said Lee Paulson, gesturing towards his wall of predominantly long-playing records, of which he estimates he owns approximately 4,000. The rest of his apartment is in shambles. “I have to watch over their health. If I don’t, who else will?”

As part of their maintenance, Paulson carefully inspects and cleans every record he acquires. He puts each record in a special high-quality anti-static inner sleeve to minimize scratches. He puts each record in a special high-quality outer sleeve to keep the whole record in tact. He cleans and inspects records each and every day, making sure every single one of them is in tip-top shape.

We won’t even go into the painstaking detail of maintenance of how he maintains his turntable, needle, and speaker system.

“No, I don’t shower every day, I’m guessing you think I probably should, yeah?” Paulson responded when Gomerblog asked him about his own health. Further questioning revealed poor dietary habits, lack of exercise, and an access of vices which include but are not limited to beer, red meat, tobacco, and unprotected sex. He can’t remember the last time he saw a doctor, brushed his teeth. He doesn’t know what blood pressure means. He’s fairly confident this rash will eventually go away.

Paulson pulls out a rare record: an original press of the Velvet Underground’s debut album released in 1967. The album cover features an Andy Warhol print of a banana. Sadly, Paulson was unable to identify the fruit on the cover.

“Life is about making priorities, right?” Paulson explained. He washes his hands before and after handling this record. He puts the record away, and quickly stuffs his face with a bag of Cheetos despite complaints of heartburn. “How can these be enjoyed if I don’t take care of them?”